The One
by AimeeValle1
Summary: Thomas Kessler's elevator arrives a few moments later just after Harvey admits something he can't take back. Caught in a complicated spot, Donna leaves with Thomas. How will Harvey deal with being exposed and jealous as hell. (Episode 8.14)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I have been dreaming of writing this fic since the episode aired almost a year ago. Jealous Harvey is my fave! It will be a multi-chapter fic, and I plan to update quickly. Thank you to Heather, Stephanie, and Blue for your amazing guidance as I venture into this world of Fanfiction, and thanks to Nathalie for all your unwavering support.

**The One**

Chapter 1:

Harvey walks into his apartment with an extra bounce in his step. Well, a bounce in his step, anyway. Extra would imply that Harvey Specter's typical step has a bounce, which couldn't be further from the truth.

Today was a good day. He had gotten Stu out of what seemed like an impossible jam, and he had done so by teaming up with Donna. He also made amends with Louis, hopefully for good this time. Shit, they'd even shared a prunie, no pun intended.

He tosses his keys on the counter, loses the jacket, and rolls up his sleeves. After pouring himself a scotch he walks out onto his balcony.

Harvey has never thought of himself as an introspective guy. In fact, he rarely looked back, much less inside. He kept his eyes forward. Focused on the future. On his goals.

But, lately, he had noticed a change. He found himself pondering… wondering about things.

For example, what did Gretchen mean last night when she said Donna had plans? What kind of plans? Something about the way she had said it bothered him. It was like she knew something he didn't.

Then, on top of that, this morning Donna was late to work. And not just 20 minutes late, like I couldn't get a cab, or I spilled coffee on my dress kind of late. Hours late. Like, _morning meeting_ late. And that didn't sit well with him at all.

Harvey shakes his head and curses himself for being such a pussy. Christ, if Mike knew what was going through his head right now, he would never hear the fucking end of it.

So, to prove he's no pussy, he picks up the phone and calls Donna. It doesn't mean anything. He just wants to celebrate.

He gets her voicemail.

"Hey Donna. I was thinking we could grab a drink to celebrate. I'll leave it up to you if that's interesting enough or not."

He ends the call and sits down. There it is again, he notices, as he takes a swig of his scotch. That weird feeling that something is _off_.

"I'm losing my shit," he mumbles to himself.

He calls Mike next.

Voicemail. Again.

Harvey leaves a message for Mike as well and then finishes his drink. Well, three drinks.

When he finally gets up to go to bed, he tells himself the queasy feeling in his gut is due to the liquor, not the fact that Donna never called back.

_..._

Ever since this morning when Harvey had explained to Donna about the trouble with Stu, she hasn't been able to shake the bad feeling in her gut.

She paces around her apartment thinking about what could've happened today. She's relieved, of course, that it worked out. And a little proud of her role in it, if she's honest with herself. They had been able to use their connection with Cahill to corner _ into a blackmail accusation and it had been her idea.

But that _bad_ feeling doesn't really go away. It's the same feeling she has every time she gets involved in something shady. And every time she gets involved in something shady, it always circles back to Harvey.

She takes a sip of her wine, and looks out her window.

Her thoughts shift to her night with Thomas, and a smile slowly spreads across her face.

He's… perfect. Handsome, smart and most importantly emotionally available.

She decides to call him with the intention of just talking. She's carrying the weight of what happened today and she wants to share it with him. I mean, that's what couples do, right?

But before she knows it, she's agreed to go to his place. She's going to spend the night with him, two days in a row. The thought makes her a little giddy.

What she doesn't know, is that when she sets her phone on the coffee table to go change her clothes, she misses a call from Harvey. A call that just may have changed her plans for the evening.

...

Harvey hasn't even put his lips to his coffee when he _runs into_ Scottie outside the firm the next morning.

She plays innocent, of course, but he knows better.

Back in the office, he immediately finds Donna and tells her to drop everything and figure out what the hell Scottie's business is with him.

That woman is definitely up to something and finding out what it is should have his full attention.

So why does he almost stop Donna to ask if she had gotten his message last night? What the fuck is wrong with him?

Turns out, he was spot on with his concerns about Scottie. And as much as he tried to stay one step ahead, he fell right into her trap.

Damn Black Widow.

He unintentionally sells out Samantha which gets his balls in a vice and the more he tries to fix it, the worse it gets. And once he tries to offer Scottie a way out of the war she had gotten herself into and gets a "fuck off" for his efforts, he decides to wash his hands of the whole thing.

...

Donna's not sure who she thought she would find on the other side of her door this morning, but it certainly wasn't Scottie.

"Scottie. What are you doing here?" she asks, not hiding her surprise.

"I need to know if Samantha Wheeler is really the attack dog Harvey says she is," Scottie responds.

"Noooo. I heard about you tricking Harvey into giving you information. I'm not going to let you do the same thing to me." Donna starts to shut the door.

"This is not about tricking you, Donna," Scottie says as she stops the door with her hand. "This is about me staying out of prison."

"What?"

"Please."

Donna lets her in after that bombshell and Scottie fills her in on the trouble she's in.

A few minutes later, Donna shows Scottie out. She knows what she needs to do. And she also knows that Harvey isn't going to like it.

As she sips her wine she can't shake a few of Scottie's comments from her mind.

_Let's face it. For a long time now you've had a lot more sway over him than me._

_You mean, steer clear of Harvey?_

She knew what Scottie was implying, so why hadn't she set her straight?

She should have said, _I'm in a relationship with someone else, Scottie._ Or, _I don't need you to steer clear of Harvey, it's the firm I'm worried about._

She knows why, of course. She does want Scottie to keep away. Scottie and every other woman for that matter.

It doesn't _mean_ anything.

She finishes her glasses of wine, heads to bed, and blames the dream she had about Harvey on Scottie as well.

...

The next day when Donna confronts Harvey about helping Scottie, the conversation goes about as well as she had expected.

"Okay, what are you going to do it about it?" she asks Harvey.

"I'm not going to do anything about it," he practically spits out.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Donna says, disgusted with his attitude.

"Why the hell are you even defending her?" Harvey's face and tone incredulous.

"Why shouldn't I defend her?" Donna fires back.

"Because, you've always been…," Harvey hesitates and doesn't finish his sentence.

"Been what?" Donna challenges. "Afraid to say it?" She looks down. "Yah. That's not a surprise."

After they finish their conversation, Donna walks out and Harvery feels pissed off. Pissed off at her for making him feel guilty. Pissed off at Scottie for putting him in this situation. Pissed off at himself for not being able to finish his sentence about Donna usually being jealous of Scottie. And even more pissed off that he knows he prefers it when she is.

And despite being knee deep in a complete shit show, his main concern is still what Donna was up to the other night. And, more importantly, with whom. He grumbles as he rubs his pounding temple.

...

Donna is confident that despite Harvey's typical combative behavior, she had struck a chord by using his, _Loyalty is a two-way street_, mantra, and she's confident he'll do what she asked.

Later that evening she's working in her office when Louis comes in to get her advice on Stan's case. She sees it as the perfect opportunity to tell him about Thomas.

She's relieved to hear that Louis has no problem with the two of them seeing each other.

Relieved, that is, until he asks the question she should have seen coming.

"Have you told Harvey yet?"

She hasn't. And, thank God, Louis didn't ask why she hasn't, because she would've had no answer for him. She has to tell Harvey, and she'd better do it soon, before things get even more awkward.

It's no big deal, she assures herself. They have always been open about when and if they were dating someone.

But after Louis walk out she glances to the spot where she was sitting when Harvey told her about Paula, and her stomach turns at the memory.

_Yah, right. No big deal at all. _

She has plans with Thomas, and just as she's finishing up the day's paperwork, she gets a call from Scottie to let her know that everything worked out. Scottie's grateful for Donna's role in getting her off the hot seat with Samantha, but she wants to know why Donna decided to help her.

Donna considers her question. "There are a lot of things that we're at odds with each other about, Scottie, but the one thing we've always had in common is that we both care about him. And you've always protected him. That means something."

"I called to tell you that I'm going to live up to our agreement. From now on, I'll stay away from him," Scottie responds.

"I told you, that's not what I meant."

"I know. I'm going to anyway. And, Donna. I… I hope someday he sees what everyone sees."

Donna hangs up her phone and sits is silence. She has really got to stop letting Scottie get into her head. But there is that small voice inside her that she can't seem to ignore saying, _me too Scottie, me too_.

...

Harvey pours himself himself a scotch and stands in his office looking out at the skyline. His hand is shaking slightly as he raises it to his lips.

His conversation with Samatha hadn't been fun. But he had made his point, and she had come through.

That wasn't the conversation, however, that had his heart beating out of his chest.

He had just hung up the phone with Scottie and of all the things she had ever said to him, nothing had ever shaken him like this.

_She's in love with you, Harvey… but I think she's moving on. If you don't tell her soon, it may be too late._

She had caught him so off guard, his denial was forced and weak. She saw right through it. And for the first time he could remember, so did he.

"Jesus," he shakes his head, downs what's left in his glass, and heads out to see if he can catch Donna, before he loses his nerve.

...

Harvey's heart is pounding erratically as he walks down the hall toward her office. He runs his fingertips absently over his palms and notices they're sweaty.

Determined not to back down this time, despite having no idea what _exactly_ he plans to say, he wipes his palms on his pants and picks up his pace.

As he approaches Donna's office he can see it's empty. Just when he thinks another chance has passed him by, he catches a glimpse of her rounding the corner towards the elevators.

He swallows the lump in his throat and lets out a shaky breath.

He continues to follow her but doesn't call out her name. He's certainly not looking for an audience for what he's about to do. Instead he stops, momentarily, to try to slow his heart rate.

_Act casual, you idiot._

"Hey," Harvey manages.

"Hey," Donna says back. Feeling a little awkward about the fact that she's about to meet up with Thomas.

"I just wanted you to know—"

"Scottie called to thank me Harvey," she cuts him off. _Where is he going with this? _she wonders.

"That's funny. She just called me." Harvey shoves a hand in his pocket. _Say something_ _else! _

"Well, I guess she's grateful to the both of us," Donna adds as the tension between them builds, silently wishing she had already pushed the elevator button.

"I guess so," he offers lamely. Hands in pockets. Heart racing.

"Um..." _Okay, Harvey… this is it_. He tells himself as he pauses to touch his nose for no good reason.

"Did she say something... to you… about…"

The look on Donna's face, in her eyes, makes Harvey want to run for cover. He feels like his stomach in his throat.

Donna's own heart is pounding now as she senses where he is headed. His timing could not be worse.

"About what?" she questions him, sure that he won't finish that sentence. Because, he never does.

"About... _us_." He is just as shocked to hear those words as Donna is.

"What do you mean, _us_?" Donna's voice is almost defensive. She wants to scream at him, "_WHAT DO MEAN US?" _But she remains calm.

"I mean, you and… me, and well, _us_." Harvey exhales and wipes his face with his hand again.

"Look, Donna," he continues. "You know I'm not good at this. How about you let me take you out for a drink? Maybe some alcohol will help me get out what I am trying to say."

He offers her the most vulnerable smile and then adds, "Even though I think you already know." He mumbles it in a sheepish tone she is certain she has _never _heard coming from Harvey Specter.

He is looking down at his feet so he doesn't see her gaping mouth.

Donna is in complete shock. Her mouth has gone completely dry and she is certain that this _must_ be a dream.

Harvey, looks up at her with that gorgeous smirk. "What do you say?"

Before Donna has a chance to respond, the elevator doors open.

"Oh. Perfect timing." Thomas Kessler smiles as he places his hand on Donna's arm.

Harvey feels the other man's entrance like a sucker punch to the gut. It takes all the wind from his lungs.

There is no mistaking what is happening here. He grapples internally for something to hold on to. Something to ease the grip on his heart.

"Thomas." Donna is nearly as blindsided as Harvey. Clinging desperately to her composure, she tries to sound natural. "I thought we were meeting downstairs."

The next few minutes are like an out of body experience for Harvey. He is flooded with a sense of numbness and a ringing in his ears.

He is saying something and shaking hands but his vision is foggy and he can't seem to think clearly.

Instead he hears a voice in his head. His own voice, he thinks, but it's so hard to focus.

_This is who her plans were with. _

_She did have a morning meeting. With Thomas Kessler. _

_You're too late. _

_It's too late. _

Donna has never been more torn. She doesn't just _see_ the pain in his eyes, she _feels_ it. A part of her, an integral part, wants to reach for him. To comfort him. To say yes to whatever it is he's trying to offer.

But her situation is impossible. Thomas walks into the open elevator and she follows.

She turns back to Harvey briefly.

"Goodnight, Harvey," she says softly, her eyes locking with his.

"Goodnight," he responds. But it feels a lot more like _goodbye_.

The elevator doors shut and Harvey is left alone. More alone than the day she left him for Louis.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: The feedback and support for this fic has been overwhelming. There is so much of the Darvey story we didn't get, and I have always wanted to fill in those gaps. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Keep up those reviews; nothing make me write faster. Heather, Steph, and Blue - couldn't do this without you!

**Chapter 2:**

Harvey stands motionless, except for a slight twitch in his fingertips. He feels a heaviness in his chest and tightness in his throat that trigger terrible memories from years before.

_Breath. _The voice in his head reminds him. _In. Out. In. Out._

"Harvey. Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost?" Samantha asks, more curious than concerned. She had seen Harvey and Donna having a kind of "hush-hush" conversation, and then she witnessed what happened next. Samantha is fairly certain she knows _exactly_ what's wrong with Harvey.

"I'm… uh…," Harvey is having a hard enough time processing what just happened. Forming an articulate explanation is completely out of his reach.

Feeling a bit empathetic, and somewhat entertained, Samantha decides to play nice for once.

"I'm just heading out. How about I buy you a drink?" she offers.

Harvey barely seems to acknowledge Samantha's presence. He is still replaying the past five minutes in his mind, trying to grasp the gravity of what just occurred.

"Harvey?" Samantha asks again.

"Uh. Sorry. I… uh… can't." Harvey walks by Samatha without a _thanks anyway _or even a _goodbye_. He recognizes the early signs of a panic attack, and he has no interest is spectators.

He makes his way into the men's room and braces himself with both hands on the sink.

_Thomas Kessler? Thomas...Fucking...Kessler? _

He splashes some water on his face and uses the breathing exercises he picked up in therapy.

Lipschitz's therapy, that is. After Stan had helped him mend fences with Louis, Harvey had continued to see him for regular sessions. He eventually opened up about the panic attacks, their cause, and his issues with abandonment. Stan gave him some exercises he thought could help. He hadn't needed them until now.

Harvey is able to slow his heart rate and return to normal breathing after just a few minutes. This is a far better result than puking his guts out, and he will have to thank Stan accordingly.

He makes his way back to his office and notices that he seems to be the only one left at the firm. Alex and Gretchen must have left while he was pulling himself together. He always preferres the office when it is quiet, but tonight he is especially grateful for the solitude.

He pours himself a Macallan. A double, actually, and put on one of his favorite albums of his dad's. It is simply a coincidence that it is the same one he listened to with Donna when he had still been seeing Paula. _My, how the tables have turned_. He certainly isn't wallowing in self pity, he is just pointing out the irony.

Harvey swallows a mouthful of the liquor trying to erase the image of Thomas's hand on Donna's arm. There was an intimacy there that was obvious. Thomas was clearly comfortable touching her.

The thought makes his stomach lurch.

He pulls out his phone and brings up his message strand with Mike. He scrolls back until he finds the pictures from the wedding Mike had sent him.

There is a great group photo of everyone from the firm. Donna was wrapped around his arm. He remembers it perfectly. They had so much fun that night.

He swipes over to the next picture. It's the two of them dancing. Mike had snapped it when neither one of them was looking. He had sent it to Harvey with the smart ass comment, '_Because Donna is?'_

Harvey had shrugged it off at the time as _Mike being Mike. _But now he looks at the photo through a different lens. He sees the look on his own face. The look in his eyes. It's so obvious.

His chest swells and his eyes start to burn as they fill with unshed tears.

How had it taken him this long? How had he wasted so much time?

He takes a deep pull on the whiskey and relishes in the burn it brings to his throat. Anything to deflect the pain in his heart.

He clicks on the message bubble on the bottom of the screen and texts Mike.

_**I was ready to tell her. I even tried to. But I was too late. **_

Seconds later his phone lights up with Mike's name.

Harvey is surprised by the immediate response. He's not sure he's really ready to talk about this yet, but he still answers the call

"Douche-bag," he skips the pleasantries, " I left you a message days ago and you haven't called. Now I send you this and you drop everything?" The alcohol is slightly evident in his speech.

"_That_ message wasn't _this_ message," Mike responds dryly.

Neither speaks for a few beats until Mike breaks the silence.

"Harvey, when you say, _ready to tell her_—"

"Yes, Mike," he cuts him off.

"And by, _too late, _you mean the new guy she's seeing?" Mike says it more as a statement, really.

"You knew? Christ! You're all the way across the country and you knew?" Harvey puts his drink down and runs his hand through his hair. This thing with a Thomas must be serious.

"She told Rachel. They spoke on the phone yesterday. Donna just mentioned seeing someone new. I don't think it's been going on that long, Harvey."

Harvey feels the blood starting to pump through his veins. He finishes his drink and walks to the window.

"Yeah. Well, she's slept with him. I can tell you that."

"You don't know—" Mike tries another time to talk him down, but he's cut off again.

"I do know! I can tell." _Fuck! _It's all so clear now.

"What did you say to her, Harvey? What makes you think it's too late? Did she _tell you _it's too late?" Mike's voice is full of concern.

"I can't do this right now, Mike. I can't rehash the whole nightmare. I've already done it in my mind a hundred times. Look, thanks for calling. We'll talk later, okay?" Harvey's tone is defeated in a way Mike hasn't heard since he was facing prison.

"Harvey, I really don't think —"

Harvey interrupts him for a third time.

"Goodnight, Mike." He ends the call and sets his phone on his desk. The burning feeling in his eyes causes him to press the heels of his hands against them. He hasn't felt this kind of pain since Donna told him his father had passed.

...

The elevator doors seem to close in slow motion and Donna has the strangest sensation she's being buried alive. It's as though the walls of the elevator are closing in, as the oxygen is slowly being depleted in this small box.

She struggles to take a deep breath.

Thomas is oblivious to what he just interrupted and she can hear him talking but it all sounds garbled, like she's underwater.

"Sound good?" he asks while placing his arm around her, jarring her from her nightmare.

"Sure. Sounds great," Donna replies, having no idea what she just agreed too.

She realizes later when they arrive to dinner that he had been discussing a change in plans. A friend of his had opened a new restaurant-bar with live music and Thomas suggested they go dancing.

The minute they walk in, she regrets agreeing to it. Not that she had done so intentionally.

It's not just any music, it's jazz, and before they are even seated, the whining of the saxophone floods her with memories of Harvey.

As Thomas orders them drinks she lets her mind wander. She thinks of the times she and Harvey had listened to his jazz records together. Miles Davis. Gordon.

She settles on the last time they drank and listened to Harvey's father together. How despite the fact that he was seeing Paula they still… _connected_. He never should have had that drink with her. Not after what she had done. Not after putting him in that position. But he did. Even when they dated other people, they still longed for each other. Something about their _connection_ couldn't be ignored.

Tonight was no different.

"You okay?" Thomas smiles offering her a drink. "You seem miles away tonight."

"Yes, Thomas." She offers a soft smile. "Just a long day," she adds as she feels her gut twist with guilt.

"You know what you need after a long day?" He smirks taking her hand. "To be entertained by my stellar dancing skills."

He pulls her to her feet and downs his drink in one gulp making Donna gasp and then squeal as he draws her in for a passionate kiss.

As he pulls away and smiles at her, she loses her breath. _He really is perfect_.

Thomas leads her to the dance floor and begins twirling her around. What he lacks in actual ability, he makes up for in enthusiasm.

She smiles, laughs, dances. They have the best time together and she doesn't think about Harvey once.

For an hour.

After that, it's as though she is playing a drinking game with herself. Every time he crosses her mind, she drinks. Needless to say, two hours into their night, she's toasted.

"Okay, Gorgeous. I think I'd better get you home. I wanted you to loosen up, but you do have work tomorrow." Thomas chuckles.

The entire ride home in the cab she lays her head on Thomas's shoulder and watches the lights outside the window. As she slowly sobers up she thinks about how easy things are with him. There are no mind games, there is no, _With you it's different, _followed by _You know why. _Or even worse, _You know I love you, Donna _and then, _It doesn't mean I want more. _

She has no idea where things might have led with Harvey tonight if she'd gone with him instead of Thomas, but one thing is for sure. It wouldn't have been easy_. _Nothing with Harvey ever was.

Thomas is everything a girl could want. So once again she puts her foot down, metaphorically, of course. She belongs with Thomas. He makes her happy and he's not afraid to _be happy. _It's as simple as that.

_Except it's not,_ a small voice inside her says.

As they pull up to her place Thomas kisses her cheek. "Have a good day at work tomorrow. I'll call you when I'm wrapping up at the office."

_At work tomorrow…_

For the first time since she left Harvey standing in the lobby, seemingly hurt and in shock, she really thinks about facing him tomorrow and her stomach turns.

After getting ready for bed, she snuggles under her covers and sees she missed a call from Rachel. She sees the icon for a voicemail and when she clicks on it she realizes she actually has two messages.

She clicks on the one from Rachel from about an hour earlier.

"_**Donna. I just have a second and Mike would literally kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but he talked to Harvey tonight, and well… we need to talk! Call me."**_

Donna covers her mouth with her hand.

"Oh my God," she says to the empty room. "He told, Mike?"

Suddenly this whole situation feels even more real. Goosebumps spread all over Donna's arms as she lets the gravity of that fact sink in.

She clicks on the second message and is surprised to see it's from Harvey from a couple of nights before. How had she missed it?

"_**Hey, Donna. I was thinking we could grab a drink to celebrate. I'll leave it up to you if that's interesting enough or not."**_

"Fuck!" she says aloud.

He had left this message 2 days ago and she never called him back or mentioned it to him? And to add to that, she never told him about seeing Thomas and he found out the way he did tonight? When he was more open and vulnerable than she had ever seen him?

God, he must be so pissed. Or worse, hurt. Donna's eyes well up. What the hell is she going to say to him tomorrow?

She pulls the covers up over her head and lets the tears fall.

...

Harvey starts his day off with an early meeting with Simon Lowe. His headache, thanks to overdoing it with the scotch last night, is amplified when Simon drops a bomb about wanting to partner with Thomas Kessler Furniture. Just the sound of his name forces Harvey to swallow down the bile that rises in his throat.

Harvey isn't just leary of having to work closely with Thomas, or the fact that it presents a conflict, it's the notion that Simon Lowe isn't the most trustworthy of businessmen and Harvey knows it.

After thoroughly questioning Simon on his motives, Harvey goes against his better judgment and agrees to take the offer to Alex.

…

Donna is waiting for Harvey in his office. She had seen him come in and go straight to Alex, so she figured she will wait for him here.

Her palms are sweaty and her stomach is in knots. She decided earlier that the first thing she would do is apologize for not telling him about Thomas. It seemed the best place to start.

"Hey, Donna," Harvey says to her back as she's looking out the window. His voice is surprisingly cheerful and it completely throws her off.

She can't seem to find the words she so carefully planned as she turns to face him.

"How was your date with Thomas?" he asks with a smile.

"Um… it was…," Donna stumbles over her words. She didn't known what to expect from him, but this, _kill her with kindness_ approach was definitely not it.

"You two make quite the power couple and since Mike and Louis both knew about your relationship, I'm guessing it's been going on for a while." His tone and smile are so well played he could have fooled anyone. Anyone but Donna. She knows precisely what that comment really means.

"Harvey-," she says taking a step toward him.

"And I have good news for your _boyfriend," _he says pouring it on and rounding his desk to keep her from getting too close. "Simon Lowe has a blockbuster offer for him that will blow his current one clear of the water."

Donna's eyes fill with tears. She can see exactly what he's doing. She can also see the truth in his eyes as moisture builds there and causes them to shine just a bit. She hears what he's saying about an offer from Simon. She remembers Thomas mentioning an exciting expansion deal over dinner last night. But none of that matters. She knows this conversation has nothing to do with business, no matter how it appears.

"Harvey, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just-"

"Donna, I'm happy for you. Really." He smiles again, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "You should go call Thomas." He looks down at his computer, signaling to her he's done with this conversation.

Donna slowly walks up to his desk and places her hand beside his computer. She is determined to explain though she has no idea how.

He looks up at her then. Looks directly into her eyes with an intensity that burns straight to her core. He doesn't try to hide the pain this time. It's as though he's just too tired to keep up the charade.

"Please, Donna. Just go." Harvey's voice cracks and so does Donna's heart.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I have been blown away by all the support and feedback for this fic. There will be more angst and pain in this chapter, but what else would we expect from these two? An extra special thanks to my girls Heather, Stephanie, and Blue. I made you work hard for this one. Pease keep posting those reviews, they mean so much to me!

**Chapter 3:**

It has been a long day. A very long day. Harvey just finished getting Simon's proposal together so he can send it first thing tomorrow and all he wants now is a glass of scotch and his bed.

He shuts his computer down and heads to the elevator. He is relieved to see that Donna's light is out. The last thing he needs is another conversation about how happy she is with someone else.

He caught her off her guard this morning and therefore saved himself from hearing how sorry she was that she hadn't chosen him. He can handle a lot. He's always had thick skin. But Donna's pity? That he can't stomach.

He gets in the elevator and pushes the lobby button.

Just before the doors fully close, someone slips through.

Donna.

She had waited for him. She would never admit it, but she basically hid and waited for him. She figured an ambush was her only shot at getting him alone. And she couldn't face another night without talking this through.

Harvey clenches his jaw but stares straight ahead. Just having her this close is making his palms sweat. He doesn't say a word.

"Just listen, okay?" Donna says in her _I know better than you do_ tone.

"I didn't tell you, because I didn't know how to. Things between us are… _complicated_ and I know you know what I mean, Harvey. You didn't tell me about Paula right away either. " She pauses. She wants to reach out to him but despite how well she knows him, she can't get a read on what he's thinking right now. He's just staring at the doors. His fists balled up at his sides.

Harvey's heart rate is picking up with every word Donna says. He doesn't want to hear any of this from her. He worries that if she says one word about Thomas being special or the fact that's she's happy with him he might just lose his shit. All he can think about is getting her to stop talking. Maybe he could shut up that sexy mouth with his own. Shut it, and then reopen it… with his tongue.

"Harvey. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you. I did. But things were finally in a good place with us. We were back to being friends."

Harvey hears her say the word 'friends' and his control snaps. He turns to face Donna with an intensity in his eyes that causes her to step backward.

In two aggressive strides, he pins her against the wall and does just as he envisioned. He lowers his mouth to hers with a kiss so full of passion, she can feel every emotion coursing through him as he transfers them all to her.

Hunger. Anger. Need. Pain.

Donna clutches onto his jacket as he pushes his body against hers and grinds his thigh between her legs. He slides his tongue into her mouth and elicits a groan from her throat that drives him nearly mad.

When the doors open with a _ding, _he finally tears his mouth from hers and they both gasp for air.

"Friends, huh?" his whispers in her ear, his voice raspy. "Is that what we are?"

He stalks out leaving her shocked and breathless.

As the doors start to close, Donna regains her composure and runs after him.

"Harvey!" she shouts as he continues toward the doors. "Harvey, God Damnit! Talk to me! I deserve that much."

That stops him in his tracks. He spins around and faces her.

"You deserve that much?" he yells.

Both are screaming now, in the lobby of this upscale office building. A bit of deja-vu. Luckily it's late and no one is really around to question them.

"What about what I deserve? How about a little honesty for starters?" he counters.

"Are you really that upset that I told Louis before you? I told you why I didn't —"

"This doesn't have a damn thing to do with Louis or anyone else you told, Donna. This has to do with _me_. With _us_!"

"What are you talking about Harvey? You aren't making any sense!" Donna says, completely exasperated.

"I'm talking about your fucking rule, Donna. All these years I've forced myself to keep things professional. Knowing that if I ever crossed that line, ever broke your _rule_, I'd be risking losing you. And the pitiful part is that I actually _believed_ you. I respected your rule even though I cursed you for having it. Then you went and broke it. For Stephen Fucking Huntley! And that stung. That really stung, Donna. But I chalked it up to a mistake. Even the great Donna Paulsen isn't perfect. And I got over it." He chokes on the last part as his eyes fill up.

Donna is frozen in place. She can't believe the words coming from Harvey's mouth. All these years… He had wanted more? He wanted her?

"Harvey… I —"

"But now? Now you've broken your rule again, for Thomas. And finally, I get it." He chuckles but there is no humor in it. "You never really had a damn rule. You just used it to keep me at bay."

His tone is so accusatory Donna wants to shield herself with her hands.

"Oh, you _want_ me." Harvey continues in a deeper tone as he steps closer. His suggestive tone giving away his meaning. "I could _feel_ that. You just don't want to be _with_ me. I get it, Donna. I wouldn't want to be with me either."

Donna's eyes spill over as she watches him walk out of the doors and into the night. The things he had said were so harsh and hurtful yet somehow she felt she had deserved every single word.

She stands there and just lets his words sink in. Had she done exactly as he said? Had she kept him at arm's length all these years and then blamed him for not letting her in?

Donna finally gains enough control to walk out of the building and is relieved that she had told Thomas she couldn't get together tonight. She has some serious soul searching to do.

When she reaches the curb she's surprised to see the Lexus idling there. For a moment, she thinks he's waited for her.

Ray steps out of the driver's seat.

"Harvey asked me to drive you home." His tone is somber like he knows the situation isn't good. "He said he needed the air," he continues when Donna looks confused.

She simply nods and gets in.

On the drive, Donna lets her mind shift from Harvey's words to his actions. From the things he said with his voice, to things he said with his body.

Absently, she places her fingertips to her lips and closes her eyes. There's a stir in her core as the feeling of his tongue in her mouth resurfaces. The pressure of his thigh between hers.

Donna adjusts her position on the seat at the thought.

This kiss was nothing like the one they had shared in her office. It was aggressive. Possessive. It was so… Harvey, and she hadn't wanted it to stop.

**...**

Right after getting home and changing into her pajamas, Donna gets a call from Rachel. She has been avoiding this conversation, but right now she feels so hollowed out, she knows she needs her friend.

"Hey, Rach."

"Donna! Oh my God, finally. Why haven't you called?" Rachel's voice is a little high pitched.

"Listen, we can talk all about that in a minute. But first…" she braces herself to say the words out loud. "Harvey just pinned me to the wall in the elevator and… kissed me."

"WHAT?" Rachel gasps.

"I mean, _really_ kissed me."

"Donna, that's _huge_!" She whispers the word 'huge' like someone might overhear.

"You don't know the half of it." Donna sighs. "I'm still in shock, to be honest. I can't feel my fingers or toes."

Donna walks her through everything that had happened that day. About the awkward conversation in Harvey's office, ambushing him in the elevator, the unexpected kiss, and of course the yelling match in the lobby.

"He said I seem to break my rule for everyone but him. He accused me of basically making it up to protect myself from getting involved with him."

"Can I be honest?" Rachel asks tentatively.

"Of course."

"He has a point, Donna, about the rule. And I think you know it."

Donna considers Rachel's words before continuing.

"Maybe. I don't know. But I'm in a relationship with Thomas now and he's… perfect, Rach. He really is. He's stable and sensitive and he makes me feel so special."

"But?"

Donna feels a little apprehensive admitting to this. Especially considering the fight they just had. But this is her best friend and she _needs_ to get it out.

"That kiss from Harvey was so… intense. I could feel how much he wanted me. I think he was trying to show me what I was missing. He pushed me up against the wall so hard I think I squealed." She pauses, not sure how much to say. "He opened my lips with his tongue, and, I thought I was going to melt into a puddle right there in the elevator."

"And Thomas?"

Donna knows what Rachel is implying, but she doesn't respond. Thomas doesn't make her feel that way. No one but Harvey ever has.

"What are you going to do, Donna? Isn't this what you've always wanted? To be with Harvey?" Rachel asks sincerely.

"I just don't know if I can risk happiness in a _real_ relationship, for whatever _dysfunctional_ thing this is with Harvey. What if he's just jealous or going through some kind of mid-life crisis? Donna pulls her knees up to her chest as her eyes start to sting.

"Listen Donna, Harvey came to _you_ the other night and said he wanted to talk. He's never done that in 13 years. I mean, after what he said to Mike, maybe he's actually ready?"

"What did he say to Mike, exactly?" Donna's curiosity piqued.

"Maybe you should ask Harvey that." Rachel smirks.

…..

Harvey is halfway home before he notices it's freezing outside. With his adrenaline pumping and mind racing, he hadn't even noticed. If he wasn't wearing a suit he would have broken into a full sprint by now.

He was furious. Teeth grinding, bullet spitting, blood boiling livid.

He had finally called Donna out on all her bullshit. All these years he had toed the fucking line when it came to her and her rule, just to realize that the damn line didn't really exist. He had been beating himself up the past couple of days about being too late. About waiting too long to come to terms with how he felt about her, but now he's changed his tune. HE wasn't the reason they hadn't ended up together! She was!

As he walks several more blocks, the biting cold starts to permeate through his clothes. Slowly, it seems to cool his temper. He pulls his jacket tightly around his chest, with each step, his anger dissipating. Bit by bit.

The truth is, the rage is just a way to avoid what he is really feeling. Anger is familiar. Comfortable even. But rejection? This is new, and Harvey doesn't like it one bit.

"Fuck…," he mutters as he runs his hands through his hair and then blows into them for warmth. He crosses the street to his building and looks forward to the warmth of his apartment and the scotch waiting for him upstairs.

After his first glass of scotch, Harvey decides on a hot shower because the heater in his apartment isn't ridding him of the chill in his bones. As he steps under the steaming stream of water his entire body tingles with a burning sensation. The way it feels when you lower yourself into a bubbling jacuzzi.

As his body starts to recover and warmth spreads to his extremities, he is taken back to the moment his lips met Donna's. He had been so caught up in being mad, that this is the first moment since leaving her in that lobby, that he reflects on their kiss.

He knows it was selfish. Reckless even. But he had needed to show her. To make her feel what she was doing to him. He needed her to _know_.

With both his hands on the wall Harvey lets the heat of the water run over his face. He closes his eyes and gives himself over to the memory. It's vivid. He can almost feel her mouth, her tongue. Her body.

Harvey's hands clench into fists on the wall of his shower as his body responds to what his mind is bringing to life. Torn between need and regret he slides his hand from the wall down his body, and releases the pressure, and the pain, the only way he knows how.

…

The following morning Harvey calls Simon to see if he received the paperwork for Thomas's deal.

"I hate to waste everyone's time, but I won't be signing it." Simon sighs.

Harvey freezes with the baseball he's tossing in his hand. "Why the hell not?"

"Well. It turns out Restoration came back to the table." Simon responds.

"When exactly did that happen?" Harvey asks, not trying to disguise his tone.

The conversation goes from bad to worse as Harvey realizes that the exact concern that had made him hesitant in the first place had come to fruition. Simon was going to screw Thomas over, and he was planning to use Harvey to do it.

As far as Harvey sees it, he has three choices. One, do as Simon asks and close the deal with Restoration, resulting in Thomas (and Alex) being fucked and Donna never forgiving him. Two, tell Alex what's going down, therefore breaking privilege, and seeing if he can restore Thomas's previous deal. Or three, find a way to keep Restoration out of the deal and leave Simon no choice but to stick with Thomas. Which would most likely result in him getting fired by Simon.

Just as the graveness of the situation settles in, his phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out and sees a text from Mike.

_**I've left you three messages. Call me. Seriously, Harvey. Don't shut me out.**_

He sighs and gazes out to the New York skyline. There is a part of him, buried so deep he can barely access it, that wants to call Mike. To know what it feels like to find comfort in a friend. It's something he's never really had. But as quick as the thought comes, it goes. It's replaced with wishing he had never told Mike in the first place.

After thinking over the situation with Simon for the afternoon, Harvey decides the best chance of success is a combination of options two and three.

Alex isn't thrilled, to say the least, but considering he doesn't see a better solution, he agrees to Harvey's plan.

…..

Donna hasn't seen Harvey all day. She's not really sure if she's avoiding him or if it's the other way around, but regardless, it seems to be working. She has a few things she wants to say to him after last night, but she's nowhere near ready.

She had met Thomas for coffee earlier that morning, mostly because she couldn't avoid it. He called last night after she hung up with Rachel and since she wasn't in the right frame of mind for talking to him, she said she had a headache from a long day at work. He suggested meeting for coffee in the morning, telling her he wanted to share some exciting news.

She knew about the partnership offer, of course, but she felt awkward admitting to Thomas that Harvey had told her. She felt awkward even mentioning his name, actually.

Thomas was his normal charming self and it made Donna feel sick to her stomach. Harvey had really thrown her off her game last night and she was having trouble getting back on track.

"The real reason I'm so happy is that there isn't anyone I'd rather share this with than you," Thomas said, reaching across the table and taking Donna's hand.

"Thomas," Donna smiled, "I am so happy for you. It really sounds like this deal could change your life for the better." She squeezed his hand.

"My life has already changed for the better, Donna." He had brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "This deal is just good business."

Now, Donna is sitting at her desk thinking back on her morning and getting absolutely nothing accomplished.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Alex interrupts her reverie, leaning on the door jam.

"I'm sorry, what?" Donna looks up from the pen she was twirling unconsciously in her hand.

"I said, penny for your thoughts." Alex walks into the office. "You looked like you were a million miles away."

"Sorry, I was just… ah." She shakes her head, unable to articulate an explanation.

"That's okay, Donna. I was just wondering if you had that paperwork you were looking over for me?"

"Oh, right. Sure. It's right here." She finds his file on her desk and hands it over.

"Thanks, Donna," he says on his way out.

"Oh. Alex? How is everything going with Thomas's deal? Do you think it'll close today."

Something passes across Alex's face, but he quickly recovers. Not quick enough for it to get past Donna, though.

"It won't be today. Harvey's still waiting on approval from Simon's board," he says. Quick on his feet.

"I thought they needed board approval before they made the offer?" she questions. She has an uneasy feeling that something shady is going on.

"True, but there were a few minor changes that still have to get pushed through." Alex attempts to smile as he walks out, but it looks a lot more like a grimace to Donna.

Why does she have a sinking suspicion that Harvey is behind this? So much for avoiding him.

She marches right into his office as if last night had never happened. Taking a page right from Harvey's playbook.

She shuts the door behind her and walks right up to his desk.

"I want to know what's going on with Thomas's deal, Harvey. And I want to know right now." She's impressed with how steady she keeps her voice, despite the sight of him making her weak in the knees.

Harvey barely glances up at her and begins shuffling files on his desk that don't need shuffling.

"We're not having this conversation, Donna," he matches her tone. All business.

"Yes, Harvey, we are. Because I just had a very strange talk with Alex and I've been in this business long enough to know when something has gone sideways. Thomas's deal is in trouble isn't it?"

"I'm not going to tell you what's going on," Harvey says, still unable to make eye contact with her.

"Fine, Harvey. You know, I've always known you could be a selfish prick, but this is low even for you. Are you really going to tank Thomas's deal because of what happened between us?"

Harvey's head snaps up.

"Is that what you think is happening here, Donna? I guess I was right then, about what kind of man you think I am." For the first time since last night, their eyes lock.

Donna begins to doubt that she has read the situation correctly when she sees the pain in Harvey's eyes.

"I'm not tanking Thomas's deal, Donna. Simon is. And I've been breaking my back trying to save it."

Donna feels a bit dizzy. Harvey's eyes are shiny with the moisture of building tears as he looks away from her.

"Harvey… I'm sorry. I could just tell something was wrong, and this deal means everything to Thomas. And I thought, after last night..."

"I know what you thought. And I know how much Thomas means to you." He gets up and walks to the window. "I need you to give me some time to fix this," he says with his back to her. "You can't tell him, Donna, or you will seal all of our fates." Harvey's voice sounds defeated. There is no anger. Just sadness.

"Okay, Harvey. I won't tell him. But you _have_ to fix this."

"Twenty-four hours, Donna. Just give me that."

"Twenty-four hours," she echoes and walks out.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews and tweets. This chapter was especially emotional for me and I hope it gives you all the feels that it gave me to write it. Thanks to my three girls (Heather, Steph, and Blue) for all your priceless input. PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING!**

**Chapter 4:**

Donna knocks on Thomas's door, a bundle of nerves. They had agreed to dinner at his place during their coffee this morning. At the time she had hoped to be feeling better about where things were between them, but in reality, she felt worse. After her talk with Rachel, she is even more conflicted. Her head keeps saying Thomas, but her heart keeps screaming...

"There's my beautiful date," Thomas greets her as he opens the door with a wide smile.

He gives her a soft kiss on the lips and takes her coat. Always the gentleman.

"It smells fabulous in here, and I'm starving." Donna takes in a whiff of the aroma from the kitchen and tries to keep herself in the here and now.

"I took a few culinary classes in college. I have a lot of hidden talents, you know." He wiggles his eyebrows and makes Donna laugh. He puts his arms around her waist and gives her a playful kiss on the lips.

"Oh, they aren't that hidden." She winks at him and smiles. "I think I've already discovered a few."

As they share a bottle of wine, Donna's nerves start to settle. She really does enjoy being with him. She has had so many failed relationships over the years, most of them due to her connection to Harvey and more than anything, she just wants to be happy. She truly believes Thomas can give her that. And yet...

As they are finishing up dinner Thomas excuses himself into the other room to take an important call.

Donna checks her phone to see if Harvey or Alex have messaged her. They both agreed to let her know the minute they had the situation under control. She had done her best to put it out of her mind for the evening, but seeing she has no messages causes her concern to resurface. She wants to trust that Harvey will fix it. It's what he does. What he's always done. But if he doesn't... If he can't... Then Thomas will be the one to pay and she will feel responsible.

When Thomas returns from his call, he is noticeably agitated. He sits on the sofa but doesn't say anything. Instead, he is wringing his hands and furrowing his brow.

"What is it? Is everything okay?" Donna says as she sits down beside him, the nervousness she was just feeling bubbling up into her throat.

"Did Harvey or Alex say anything to you about my deal being in trouble?" He turns to face her and looks her right in the eyes. It's not as though he's accusing her of anything, but she can tell he's expecting an honest reply. His eyes pleading with her.

A feeling of dread spreads through Donna's gut and she prays it's not visible on her face. All those years of acting classes are hopefully paying off. He knows something and he's looking for her to confirm it or put his worries to rest. She knows she can't do either.

Trying to avoid a direct lie, she answers his question with a question of her own.

"What do you mean in _trouble_? Who was that on the phone?" She places her hand on his knee and rubs it gently, knowingly overcompensating for the guilt creeping up her spine. If she can't offer real support, maybe she could give the superficial kind.

"A colleague of mine. He said he didn't want to alarm me, but that he heard rumblings that Pierrepont Malls were back at the table with Restoration. I called Alex and he assured me things were on track, but something doesn't feel right." He gets up from the couch and stares out his window.

"Maybe you could call Harvey?" he says turning toward her, his voice slightly desperate.

"Oh, Thomas," Donna responds, unable to hide the shock of his suggestion. " I don't think—"

"I mean if something had happened he'd have told you, right? So things must be fine?" Thomas is pacing now and Donna feels terrible.

"Thomas. Harvey represents Simon. Discussing anything about your deal would be conflict, or worse, breaking privilege." Donna tries to reason with him, without giving away too much.

Thomas stops and looks directly at Donna. He sits down and takes both her hands in his.

"This company is my life's work, Donna. If this deal falls through after I walked away from my other offer, I'm finished." The fear in his eyes stirs something deep inside Donna. She cares deeply for this man and he's asking for help. For honesty.

Donna's eyes well up with tears as her heart breaks once again. She knows what she has to do, and she hates herself for it.

"Thomas. There is something I need to tell you."

…

Harvey has been working tirelessly behind the scenes trying to find a way to get Restoration to back out. Ever since his conversation with Donna he has been even more determined to make this work. Her accusation had cut deep and he was dead set on fixing it. She had doubted him, his character, and now, more than anything, he wanted to prove her wrong.

Alex was furious when Harvey confessed to telling Donna what was going on.

"You did what? Are you out of your goddamn mind?" Alex raises his voice which is out of character for him. "You know the two of them are a _thing_, right?" He spits that part at Harvey knowing it's a cheap shot.

Harvey flinches briefly and then regains his control. Ignoring the pain that comment brought on.

"Don't give me that shit, Alex. She only came to me because she read it on your damn face! And it doesn't matter _what_ the two of them are! I trust Donna!" Harvey shouts back, wishing he was as confident in Donna's loyalty as he's making it appear.

"Okay. Okay, listen." Alex regains his control, a little guilty from the look on Havey's face. Not intending to make this personal. "The two of us having it out isn't going to get us anywhere. I just want to make sure you know, that if she tells Thomas—"

"I know, Alex," Harvey huffs, throwing his arms in the air. "Trust me. I know." Harvey rubs both hands over his face. "That's why the two of us have to fix this. And we have to do it tonight."

…

It's late. Really late. Alex had left about an hour earlier to meet a friend who works with the company who had offered Thomas his original deal. He told Harvey the two of them were close, and he could trust him. He was confident he could get them to reinstate the offer.

Harvey had a call into a contact at Restoration, and it looked like everything might work out after all. The only problem is, he won't know for sure until the morning. He just needs Donna to have faith in him until then.

That isn't really the thing making it hard for him to keep the scotch down that he'd been sipping on for hours. It's the fact that he knows she is with Thomas right now. And while he sits here alone in his office, a little drunk, and a lot exhausted, he can admit to himself that it is tearing him apart.

…

The following morning Harvey is operating on just a few hour's sleep, and it shows. He looks like shit, and when Alex storms in, the volume of his voice makes Harvey's head pound.

"All that hard work we did, didn't do shit! I just got fired and I'm pretty sure you're going to be next!"

Harvey rests his face in his hands before exerting the energy to look up at Alex.

"Take it easy, Alex. What do you mean you got fired?" he asks in a softer tone, hoping Alex can take a hint.

"I mean that Thomas Kessler just called and said he wouldn't be needing my services any longer. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's _fired_, right?"

"Shit!" Harvey gets up from his chair. "What happened? Did he say why?"

"Nope. Just, _Hey Alex, you're fired. Thanks. _Typical polite Kessler." Alex snorts.

"Son of a bitch." Harvey runs his hand through his hair.

"Harvey, you don't think—"

"No. No way, Alex. She gave me her word." He shuts down Alex from saying it. But his mind went there just as quickly. His resolve is slipping.

Harvey's phone starts to buzz on his desk and they both look directly at it before Harvey picks it up.

"Simon," he moans.

Harvey hits the speakerphone button and puts his fingers to lips to signal Alex to keep quiet.

"Simon. What can I do for you?" Calm as ever.

"You can pull your head out of your ass, for starters! Kessler just signed with my competitor. What the fuck are you guys doing over there?" he yells.

"I'm trying to close the deal you said you wanted and it wasn't with Kessler, so I'm not sure what the issue is here Simon." Harvey keeps his tone indifferent.

"The issue, Harvey," he answers condescendingly, "is that Kessler was my Plan B, and the only reason he backs out is if you sold me out!"

"Simon, I can assure that I did not say a thing to Kessler. I've been too busy handling Restoration, which is what you asked me to do. I have no idea what's up with Kessler, but it just saves us the headache of explaining your change of heart." Harvey rolls his eyes at Alex.

"Well, you better get this thing done. Or the 'Best closer in New York' is getting fucking fired!"

Harvey thinks Simon is done but as he goes to the end the call Simon adds one more thing.

"And Harvey, if I find out you tipped Kessler off, I'll bring you and that whole firm of yours down."

The call ends with a loud click and Harvey looks up to Alex. He feels his hands start to shake as his heart starts pounding in his chest. Maybe Donna had told Kessler, after all.

"Mother- Fucker!" Harvey hurls the empty glass from last night against the wall and watches it smash into tiny shards. Harvey balls his hands into fists trying to stop the shaking.

Alex swallows and takes a step backward. He knows this situation is bad, but he has a feeling Harvey's furry isn't really directed at Simon.

"Harvey," he says in a calm voice, "you set a plan in motion last night to get Restoration to back out." pointing out the obvious.

"I'm aware of that, Alex," he says, putting on his coat. "So I guess I better put a new plan in motion."

As Harvey heads out of his office he shouts, "And where the hell is Donna?"

…

Donna was in no hurry to get to work this morning. She hadn't slept well at all and she was not looking forward to going to work and finding out the repercussions of her actions.

Thomas had told her he was going to call Alex this morning and tell him he would be taking his business elsewhere. She couldn't blame him, really. And even though she knew Alex was going to be pissed, it wasn't _his_ reaction that had kept her up all night. She had no idea how she was going to explain this to either of them, but the damage had been done, and it was time to pay the piper.

In the cab on her way to the firm she gets a call from Alex. She doesn't want to discuss the situation over the phone and even though Thomas was Alex's client, she feels she should explain herself to Harvey first. She lets the call go to voicemail and listens to it as she is being dropped at the curb.

"_Donna, what the hell is going on? Thomas fired me. Simon just flipped the fuck out on Harvey, and we are in some serious shit. Please tell me you didn't do what I think you did. Oh, and Donna, Harvey's looking for you."_

A chill runs down Donna's spine at those last four words.

She manages to get to her office without running into anyone, but before she's even able to fire up her computer, Alex walks in and shuts the door.

"Donna?" He tilts his head. "Did you get my message?"

"I did, Alex. I'm very sorry about Thomas, but I have no control over his business decisions." She doesn't even look up at him for fear he will see right through her.

"Don't give me that Donna. I think you had a lot of influence over this _particular_ decision. I know Harvey told you Simon was using him. I also know that if you told Thomas that, then you broke privilege, and you broke it for Harvey right along with you, and we are all in a world of hurt here Donna!" Alex doesn't raise his voice, exactly, but he is visibly upset.

His words shake her more than she lets on, but she digs deep to keep her composure. She knows what she did was right, and even if it's difficult, with time, Alex will understand.

"Alex, I know how this looks and that you are upset about losing a client, but I need you to trust me. Thomas dropping the firm was for the best and I'm sure everything will work out fine. Simon didn't even _want_ the deal with Thomas. Harvey will close Restoration and Simon will be happy."

"That's just it, Donna. Harvey worked all night to save Thomas's deal, and now it may be too late for him to save Simon's."

Donna makes eye contact with Alex for the first time as all the blood drains from her face.

…

It's after 8:00 when Harvey gets back to the office. He had done it. It had been a complete pain in his ass, and he had to swallow his pride, which he never does, but it had worked. Restoration signed the deal with Pierrepont and Simon had shaken his hand and patted his back. Asshole.

He was so exhausted his eyes burned. He should be feeling great about closing this deal. It was the fourth quarter, down by two and he had hit the game-winning three-pointer as the clock expired.

Instead, he felt like shit. Donna had betrayed him. There was no other explanation. She had broken her word and told Thomas. She had lost faith in him.

He steps out of the elevator and walks right past her office. He can see she's in there but he has nothing to say to her now. He's too tired and he just doesn't see the point. She had saved Thomas, and he had saved the firm. Guess that's all that matters now.

Donna sees Harvey walking down the hall and her heart stops. She's sure he's going to storm into her office and let her have it, but he walks right by. He doesn't even glance in her direction.

She had been prepared for anger. For shouting and accusations, but she was not prepared for this.

Almost in a trance, Donna pushes her chair away from the desk and walks down the hall. She doesn't overthink it, for fear she would run and hide. She had made a choice that affected so many people, especially the man on the other side of this glass. He has every right to know the truth.

She inhales sharply and walks in. Just as she turns to shut the door behind her, Harvey freezes her with his steely tone.

"I have nothing to say to you, Donna." He clenches his jaw so tightly he thinks he'll shatter his molars. It's the only defense he has against the stinging in his eyes.

Donna's eyes well up at his tone more than the actual words. She expected this. She can do this. She takes in a shaky breath and turns toward him. His eyes are cast down at a file in his hand.

"Harvey. I need you to let me explain." Her legs are threatening to buckle beneath her.

He doesn't respond or look up. It's as if she isn't even there.

Donna absently wipes her hands on her dress and takes a few steps closer to his desk.

"Harvey. Please." Her voice cracks with emotion and Harvey can't stop himself from lifting his chin.

"You betrayed me." His voice is thick. Like it's hard for him to form the words. "I trusted you and you let me down." His eyes are glossy as he turns and looks away from her.

"It's not what you think, Harvey. He got a call from someone who knew something was wrong with the deal. He started questioning me and said we should call you and I—"

"You lost faith in me!" Harvey's voice escalates as he stands up, his chair crashing into the window behind him. "In all the years we've been together, that's never happened." He chokes on the last phrase. His face and voice full of agony.

Donna shakes her head as tears spill from her eyes. "Harvey. If there is anyone in this world I have faith in, it's you."

"You told him about the deal, Donna! You chose him!" Hearing the words out loud makes Harvey want to cover his own ears.

"No, Harvey! I didn't tell him about the deal." She takes a deep breath. Willing herself to continue. "I told him about _you_!" Donna sobs and covers her mouth with her hand as if those words escaped without her approval.

Harvey freezes. He stops breathing as his mind frantically struggles to comprehend what Donna has just said. She can't possibly mean… He tries to swallow the giant lump forming in his throat.

"What do you mean, about _me_?" His voice is softer now. That special tone he only uses with her. Only in moments like this.

When she doesn't answer, he asks again.

"Donna?"

A part of him is suddenly drawn to her. There is this tiny flicker of hope, like a candle just barely keeping its flame alive, but it's there. He feels it. Harvey takes a small step forward.

"I told him that I couldn't tell him anything about the deal. That even if I had known something... That my loyalty belonged to you." She doesn't look up. Her eyes never leave the floor and Harvey sees tears fall from her face.

Harvey wants to move closer to her. Like a magnet, his body is drawn to her. He wants so badly to believe the words he is hearing. To fan that small flame and let it fill the room with its warmth. But his feet won't budge. The only movement he can manage is a twitch of his fingers.

Donna sniffles and continues, "He asked me what I was really saying. If I meant my loyalty was to the firm, or to _you_?" She stops to take in a shaky breath. Then she lifts her head and looks Harvey in the eyes. "I told him that as wonderful as it was to be with him, that… as much as I wanted things with him to work out, I knew they couldn't." She sobs and wipes her face again.

Harvey finally finds the nerve to slowly move around his desk. He stops just a few feet in front of her as though getting any closer is more than his heart can take.

"Why?" It comes out barely above a whisper.

Donna stares into his eyes and sees something there she has never seen before. It's as if the veil he uses to carefully cover his feelings has been lifted. And for one beautiful moment, she felt at peace with what she was about to say.

"Because he isn't you."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So sorry for the delay in updating. Chapter 6 is already underway, and I promise to get it out quickly. Thanks again to Heather, Stephanie, and Blue for your invaluable guidance. The love for this fic means everything to me. Please keep the reviews coming. THEY ARE MY FAVORITE PART!**

**Chapter 5:**

Harvey's ability to breathe lapses as the last three words from Donna's mouth freeze time and space.

_He isn't you._

Such a simple and basic fact. He isn't you_._ But the gravity of what it implies, the implication of what she is confessing, plunges Harvey into a dizzying state of shock. He reaches back the few inches it takes to brace himself on his desk.

He stares back at Donna with eyes so full of emotion that she can't read them.

"Harvey? Are you… mad?" She takes a half step toward him but stops, fearing his reaction.

"I know this whole mess with Simon and Thomas is my fault," she continues, swallowing and swiping at her eyes. She tries to remain strong and accept accountability. Lifting her chin, she continues.

"You never would have done what you did to try and save Thomas's deal if I hadn't been dating him. Now Alex is fired and you're on the—"

Harvey takes a long stride toward her and places his index finger lightly on her lips. He slides his hand slowly around to her cheek, his large palm engulfing her jaw. His fingers slipping just below her hairline.

Neither moves or speaks as their hearts pound simultaneously in their chests. The silence in the room is so deafening they can almost hear them beating.

A stray tear falls from Donna's eye and Harvey slides his thumb over her cheek to wipe it away.

She knows it's going to happen before he even moves. She can see it in his eyes, feel it in the thrumming of his pulse just under her chin. She closes her eyes and leans in, trusting him more in this moment than she ever had before.

Harvey's lips touch hers... so lightly at first that she almost lets her eyes flutter open again, but then he leans in, deepening the kiss until there is nothing left to question.

He grips Donna's neck and pulls her mouth closer, as he tilts his head and slides his tongue past her swollen lips. A low moan fills the quiet air around them, neither sure which of them the sound is coming from. Donna's knees literally buckle beneath her but she is held up by the arm Harvey had wrapped around her waist. Instead of losing her balance she is swept up and into him as his grip around her tightens.

They fall together in the simplest of metaphors. The outside world disappears. There's nothing and no one but Harvey and Donna. All of his armor, shed. All of her walls, down.

This kiss is nothing like the kiss in the elevator. That kiss was full of lust and need and control. This? This is none of those things. It's surrender, honesty, lo—

"It's about goddamn time." Louis interrupts, walking in unapologetically.

"Jesus Christ, Louis," Harvey growls on a staggered breath. Pulling his mouth from Donna's but not letting go of her.

"Trust me, Harvey. No one wants to see the two of you ride off into the sunset more than me. But this can't wait." Louis says in a tone that causes Donna to take a step back from Harvey.

"What is it?" Donna asks. Her voice husky from the hormones pumping through her bloodstream. She has to focus just to keep from stumbling.

Louis looks from Donna to Harvey and back to Donna, clearly hesitant to spit it out. "I think maybe I should tell Harvey this alone," he answers with a grimace that shows his discomfort.

"Out with it, Louis. Since when do you not include Donna?" Harvey says walking around his desk. Officially giving up on the moment he was about to share with Donna, he tries to hide the erection that had been forming in his pants. Truth be told, he could use a chair at the moment. Donna wasn't the only one with wobbly legs.

Louis looks down as he shuffles his feet and wipes his mouth with his hand. He looks back at Donna and then to Harvey.

"It's Thomas. He's requested an ethics hearing." Louis's eyes meet Donna's but he can't hold her gaze.

"No… He… Why?" Donna stammers as she brings both hands up to her mouth.

Harvey drops his head into his hands but doesn't respond to either of them.

"Harvey? Did you hear me? An ethics hearing." Louis steps closer to Harvey's desk as if maybe that will help his message get through.

"I need to be alone," Harvey says. His voice eerily calm.

"I tried to talk some sense into him, Harvey." Louis ignores his request. "I called him myself but he wouldn't listen. He said you're a dirty lawyer, and he can't let you continue breaking the law."

Harvey doesn't look up or move a muscle.

"He was ranting something about you and Alex and collusion, breaking privilege, I could hardly get a word in. I couldn't figure out what had gotten into him. But now, I think maybe I—"

"Out!" Harvey finally speaks. He doesn't shout, exactly, but there's no mistaking the tone.

Donna is barely keeping herself from dropping to the floor. Tears are streaming down her face now so rapidly she's stopped trying to wipe them away.

"Harvey," she whispers. "I didn't tell him. I swear." She starts to walk toward him, but Louis blocks her path.

"Donna." He places his hand on her shoulder lightly. "Donna," he says again waiting for eye contact. "Let's give him a few minutes."

She looks up at Louis with more pain in her eyes than he can stomach. But she nods, and he leads her out.

…..

Harvey gazes out at the city lights through his office windows trying to process the last few minutes. He has run the gamut of emotions from betrayal and rejection to need and trust. He held Donna in his arms. Kissed her lips. Felt her desire for him on the deepest level. And now he is sitting in his office. Angry and alone.

He wasn't sure what Thomas had on him. Whether there was actual evidence of wrongdoing or just a simple vendetta. Lord knows there are plenty of skeletons in his closet waiting to be let loose. But the one thing he is sure of is why Thomas had done it.

Donna had chosen him. It wasn't the first time she had walked away from a boyfriend for him. Deep down he knew that every failed relationship she had was because of him, even if he had never acknowledged it. But if he had anything to say about it, this time would be the last. She belonged with him. If there had been any shadow of a doubt, it was erased with that kiss.

…

Donna is visibly shaken when she and Louis walk into her office. She nods as he gestures to the decanter and he pours them both a drink.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on, Donna?" He sets her drink down and sits in the chair across from her. "What happened with Thomas?"

Donna takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She focuses on slowing her heart rate and then takes a sip of the hard alcohol, praying it will soothe her nerves.

"Things were going so well," she begins, staring into her drink like a looking glass. "Thomas was everything I ever wanted and it seemed like we might really have a chance at building something together."

"But…," Louis prods while sipping on his own drink.

"The other night, after Harvey and I convinced Samatha to let up on Scottie, she called us both to say thank you. I'm not sure exactly what she said to him, but he came to me, afterward, as I was leaving to meet Thomas." Donna sips on her drink again and waits to see if Louis interjects. When he doesn't, she continues.

"He asked me out for a drink. Said he wanted to talk. About _us_." She shakes her head. "Can you believe that?" She looks down at her feet. "And right on cue, Thomas walks out of the elevator and that's that. God, Louis. You should have seen the look on Harvey's face."

Donna wipes at her eyes again as fresh tears begin to fall.

Louis reaches for her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. This is no time for an _I told you so_ but it doesn't stop him from thinking it. He had seen this coming from a mile away and had encouraged her more than once to tell Harvey about Thomas.

"And then what happened?" he asks instead.

"I left with Thomas," Donna sighs and wrings her hands. "And of course, in typical Harvey fashion, the next day he acted as though nothing had happened. He said he was _happy for me_ but it was obvious he was upset. So, that night, I cornered him in the elevator."

"Let me guess, he lashed out? Said a bunch of hurtful things?" Louis asks, shaking his head.

"He kissed me."

Louis's eyes shoot up and so do his eyebrows. "The wild stallion claims his mare," he says with a nod.

"Louis!" Donna gasps as his ridiculous remark.

"What? I have been waiting for this for a long time. I was beginning to think he didn't have it in him," he smiles and takes a sip of his drink. "Please, continue."

Donna shakes her head. "After the kiss in the elevator, we fought. Just like you guessed, he said some terrible things to me. Hurtful, but mostly accurate. He said I only made up my rule to protect myself from him." She looks up questioningly at Louis like she wants his opinion on that accusation.

"Did you?" he asks as if it's the simplest question in the world.

Donna doesn't respond but her eyes betray her. He knows the answer.

"Then what?" He lets her off the hook. "You broke things off with Thomas and he just flipped his lid? Came after Harvey? That seems out of character for him."

"There's more to it than that." Donna sighs. "Simon Lowe was using Thomas as a stalking horse. He was about to screw Thomas out of a huge deal that could ruin the future of his company." Donna's voice and eyes fill with emotion as she's reminded of the look on Thomas's face.

"So you told him." Louis tried to remove any judgment from his tone but fails.

"No, Louis! I didn't tell him. That's just it. He got wind that something was sideways and he asked me to tell him what I knew." Fresh tears build in her eyes. "Instead, I told him I could never betray Harvey's trust. I could never betray Harvey. Period."

Louis nods in understanding. Finally putting all the pieces together. "Donna. Listen to me. Whatever is going on with Thomas and this hearing, we will figure it out. How many times has the firm been over a barrel and found a way to get out of it. We are a kick-ass team and we will figure this out." He lays his hand on hers and gives it a tender pat.

"God, Louis. I hope you're right. But it's not the firm that's in trouble this time. It's Harvey. And it's all my fault."

…..

Before he can talk himself out of it, Harvey picks up the phone and calls Mike.

"Hey," he says simply when Mike answers. "I need your help."

"Is everything okay?" Mike's voice is full of concern from Harvey's simple request.

"No. I'm in some deep shit and I need Robin."

"Spill it, Batman. Whatever you need."

Harvey spends the next 15 minutes catching Mike up on the events of the past couple of days. He leaves out the kiss in the elevator, which Mike knew about anyway, but pretty much comes clean on everything else.

"I need to know what he knows Mike. We need to know what I'm really up against. My instinct is to call his bluff. But if he's not bluffing, it could cost me everything."

"Not everything, Harvey. She chose you. No matter what happens here, don't lose sight of what that means."

He doesn't respond or let on in any way. But those words, and the truth behind them, mean more to Harvey than any he's ever heard. His heart swells as he swallows and nods.

…...

Hours later, Harvey is tossing and turning in his bed, unable to sleep. It's almost midnight and the amount of scotch he's consumed should have been enough to knock him out.

Yet he's lying here wide awake thinking about the kiss he and Donna shared and the meaning of the last thing Mike said to him.

Whatever happens, she had chosen him.

He picks up his phone, for the tenth time tonight, and clicks on his messaging app.

_**This is not your fault. No matter what happens, I need you to know that. **_

He hits send before he changes his mind again. Hoping that if she's asleep, his message doesn't wake her.

He sees the bubble pop up right away and knows she's responding. He furrows his brow as butterflies form in his stomach.

_**It IS my fault, Harvey. I'm so, so sorry. **_

His finger hovers over the call button and then he sets his phone down. Something definitely shifted between them today and he feels completely ill-equipped to handle it. He rubs his face with both hands and stares at his phone. He wants to call her. To hear her voice...

"Fuck it."

He presses the call button.

"Hey," she answers on the first ring. Her voice soft and resigned.

"Hey," he says back quietly, as he lays down on his bed one arm up over his head.

"Listen, Donna." Harvey pauses, taking a breath and finding his resolve. "This situation is hard enough and I need to be on my A-game. I can't do that if I use all of my energy worrying about you." He closes his eyes, feeling clumsy and awkward. All this time he thought himself smooth.

Donna is touched by his statement and she has trouble formulating a response. Over the years there have only been a few times he's rendered her speechless.

Harvey keeps talking, trying to fill the awkward silence between them.

"I'm not mad, Donna. Not at you. Not even at Thomas, really. I can't blame him for hating me. I hated him too when I thought you'd chosen him." Harvey pauses to take a breath. This kind of honesty is brand new for him. He kind of likes the way it feels. "And if this mess is anyone's fault, Donna, it's mine."

Donna's eyes fill with tears as she is completely taken aback by Harvey's words and the tender tone of his voice. What she really wants to ask is, _Do you want to come over? _The longing she feels to be close to him is overwhelming her. But old habits die hard, so she pushes past the need and deflects.

"What are you going to do, Harvey?"

"I spoke to Mike tonight. He is going to help me find out what Thomas knows. Before I can figure out the best course of action, I need to know what he has on me."

Donna considers saying that maybe she should talk to Thomas. But she knows Harvey, and she also knows he'd tell her not to. So if she doesn't bring it up, she won't have to go against his wishes.

"Maybe he will drop this whole thing, Harvey. I just… I don't know why he'd do something like this," she wonders, closing her eyes.

Harvey cringes at the pain in her voice.

"People lash out when they're hurt, Donna. If anyone knows that, it's me." Harvey sighs, "Shit. Listen to me. What has Stan done to me?" he says to himself more than her, letting out a dry laugh.

"Stan didn't do it, Harvey. This is who you've always been," she says before she can stop herself.

It's Harvey's turn to be caught off guard. He knows there is so much meaning in what she just said. Donna has always given him more credit than he deserved.

He clears his throat. "Donna, we will get through this."

This entire situation feels like some kind of lucid dream and Donna feels like she can't get her bearings.

"How are you so calm?" she asks, feeling anything but.

It's a fair question. One he has no clue how to answer. He knows his behavior is out of character. He doesn't really understand it himself.

_Because I finally know where I'm supposed to be. _

"Because I've learned that reacting in anger and letting my emotions control me only hurts the people I care about. I know that Mike and Louis and everyone at the firm stands behind me." Harvey rolls onto his side and props his head up on his elbow, looking out at the city. "And I know now that losing my license doesn't scare me half as much as the thought of losing you."

Donna lets the quiet tears fall. She wants to tell him that she loves him so much more than he could ever understand. That she always has. But not tonight. Not over the phone.

She will tell him right after she fixes this.

They sit in silence for several minutes before Harvey suggests they both get some sleep. Big day tomorrow. When Donna asks if they can keep the line open, fall asleep together, Harvey agrees with a smile and an undeniable tug at his heart.

...

When Donna wakes in the morning, her phone is next to her on the nightstand. Dead. She picks it up and sits on the side of her bed.

The phone call with Harvey last night has her tied in knots. She certainly wasn't used to him being the comforter. He had been so open. So _loving_. She closes her eyes and thinks about the way he kissed her in his office. They kissed before of course. The other time. The night in her office. The elevator. But this time was different. There was something _more. _It wasn't just the _way _he kissed her, but the look in his eyes.

She had known things would get messy when she told Thomas she had feelings for Harvey. She had done it because she couldn't stand to hurt Thomas when she cared so deeply for him. When she knew in her heart that she could never give something to him that belonged to someone else. What she didn't know, never could have predicted, was how Harvey would react. That maybe he really loved her just as much and was finally ready to admit it.

She gets up and plugs her phone in before getting into the shower. She has a lot of work to do today, and it isn't going to be easy.


	6. Chapter6

**A/N:****** The energy you are all bringing to your reviews and tweets motivates me to try to improve on every chapter I write. This one was a bit challenging because it required to me to dig deeper into Thomas since the show didn't give us much. I hope you all like the way it turned out. Please take a couple moments to share your thoughts. It really inspires me to continue. Thanks to my girls, you all know who they are by now.****

**Chapter 6:**

Harvey is on his fourth cup of coffee when he walks into Alex's office around 10:00 AM the following morning.

"What have you got?" Harvey asks before he's even fully in the room. He's been in since 7:00 and feels like all he's done is spin his wheels. The fact that Donna has yet to make an appearance doesn't help settle his nerves. He told her they would get through this, whatever happened, and he meant it. But he also said he needed to find out what Thomas had on him, and he meant that too.

"Nothing good, Harvey." Alex rubs his face and looks up from his computer. "I can't get my contact to take my calls, and based on what Donna said about Thomas's informant the other night, I think he may have sold me out."

Harvey catches the baseball he was tossing in the air. He's been fidgety all morning and carrying it around seems to be helping him focus. "And what exactly did he have on you that was worth selling?" he questions.

"Well," Alex hesitates, "It's more like what he had on _you_, considering I alluded to the fact that Simon was using Thomas. He knew there was only one way I could've acquired that information."

Harvey looks at Alex and shakes his head. Just as he's about to comment, his phone buzzes in his pocket.

"Mike," he says after he swipes across his screen. "You're on speaker with Alex and me. He just informed me that there is a good chance Thomas knows I broke privilege. Tell me you're calling with some better news."

"I wish I was, Harvey. But I'm afraid my news may be even worse. Were you aware that Thomas has a brother?" Mike asks with a tone that makes Harvey wish he hadn't picked up the call.

"No, Mike. Remember, I'm the one that didn't know he had a _girlfriend_, why the fuck would I know his family tree." Harvey knows he's being a dick. But he is beginning to feel his new positive outlook fading away.

"Well he does. A few years younger. He works here in New York. Finance. You'll never guess who he is dating." Mike doesn't wait long because he knows Harvey isn't one for games. "Evan Smith."

…

Donna walks into Thomas's building with the appearance of a corporate COO ready to kick ass and take names. In reality, she's a nervous wreck with a weak stomach and a bad case of cottonmouth. She knows she shouldn't be confronting Thomas at work and that Harvey would flip his lid if he knew she was here on his behalf. She also knows that Thomas is a good man. A fair man. And she is confident if she can just get to the bottom of his actions, she can change his mind. Well, maybe not confident, _exactly_, but she's determined to try.

Before she gets on the elevator, her phone starts ringing in her purse. She knows it's Harvey. He has already texted her twice. She doesn't want to lie to him, but she sure as hell isn't going to tell him where she is. She just stares at his name on the screen until the phone stops buzzing. She slips it back into her purse, and gets on the elevator.

She can see as she approaches Thomas's office that it's empty. Some of the nerves settle as her pounding heart slows on a deep exhale. But her relief is short lived as she hears his voice from behind her.

"Donna?" Thomas's voice lacks his usual pep.

Donna swallows thickly as she turns to face him. "Thomas," is all she can manage. Her resolve slipping from the look in his eyes.

Thomas lifts his chin, just slightly, but Donna sees it as a sign he's not happy to see her. His defenses are on full alert.

"What are you doing here, Donna?" He walks past her and into his office.

Donna opens her lips slightly to let out a shaky breath as she follows him inside. "I want to talk, Thomas."

"Well, I know for a fact that we don't have any business together to discuss. And as far as anything personal, I think I've heard enough." He sits down at his desk without even giving her the courtesy of eye contact. "I don't want to be rude Donna, but I am a very busy man."

His words sting and so do her eyes as she fights back the tears building there. She takes a seat in the chair across from him despite his crystal clear message. She is struck by the reality of how quickly things can change.

"Thomas. I know you're hurting. And I know I'm the last person you want to see or talk to, but I just need five minutes. Please," she adds when he doesn't respond.

Thomas sighs and finally looks up from the paperwork on his desk. His eyes are just as full as Donna's. "You'd never be the last person I want to see Donna. But this isn't easy for me. Any of it."

Donna relaxes slightly. "I'm sorry, Thomas-"

"And I know why you're here," he cuts her off. "To defend _him. _And I just don't think I can listen to it." He averts his eyes and starts shuffling the papers on his desk.

Donna's palms start to sweat as the realization that this plan may not work settles in. She considers just granting him his wish and leaving. Then she thinks of all the times Harvey fought to save her, and she continues.

"Thomas, why are you doing this to Harvey? He never did anything to hurt you. He was breaking his back trying to save your deal." The tone of her voice sounds more defensive than she intended it to.

Thomas looks up with an exasperated expression. "Never did anything to hurt me?" He practically shouts. "That man has had you at his beckon call for 13 years and he never made a move. And now that you were just about to start something real… something special with me. He's suddenly interested in more?" Thomas gets up from his seat and paces. "You're right Donna. Maybe Harvey never intended to hurt me. I'm just collateral damage. But he's damn sure out to hurt you! How many times have you walked away from something good and healthy, for whatever that bastard has to offer?"

Donna is stunned by both Thomas's words and his behavior. She had never even heard him raise his voice.

"Thomas!" Donna whisper shouts as she looks over her shoulder to the open door. "This has nothing to do with my relationship with Harvey! Calling for an ethics hearing could cost him his license to practice law. His livelihood. You would take all of that from him because of a personal vendetta? What does that say about _your_ ethics?"

"You are absolutely right, Donna." Thomas's voice is quickly back to calm and collected. "This hearing has nothing to do with this," he gestures between them. "It has everything to do with the fact that Harvey Specter is a dirty lawyer. He has crossed the line time after time to get what he wants. This time it may have been breaking privilege, but I have a source that says he's done much, much worse."

The blood slowly drains from Donna's face as countless shady dealings run through her mind. "I don't know what that's supposed to -"

"Do the words Liberty Rail mean anything to you?" Thomas phrases it as a question, but the look on his face says he already knows the answer.

A knock on the open door stops Donna before she can manage a response.

"Mr. Kessler. Your 10:30 is here," a young man says, clearly aware he's interrupted something.

"Thank you, Aaron," he says quietly, picking up the folder on his desk. "Can you show Ms. Paulsen out, please?

"Thomas," Donna says, hurt at his flippant dismissal.

"Goodbye, Donna." Thomas says as he walks past her without a second glance.

"He's a good man, Thomas," she blurts out and he stops but doesn't turn. "Every line he has ever crossed… was to protect someone he loves."

….

When Donna heads outside to hail a cab, she decides to head back home. There is plenty of work she can take care of from there and she just doesn't feel up to going into the office. She really thought she could get Thomas to back down but now she feels like she's only made things worse. To add insult to injury. She listens to Harvey's voicemail.

_**Donna. Where are you? I hope you're not out there trying to fix this thing on your own. If we are going to get through this, we need to trust each other. I have some new information you need to hear. Call me, okay? **_

Donna exhales slowly. She had been unconsciously holding her breath while she listened. His words made her feel guilty enough, but it was the tenderness in his voice that brought on the tears. She never should have gone to Thomas. Why is it that now that Harvey is ready to be open and available, she seems to want to run and hide?

The entire drive home she struggles internally with the pull to call him back and the fear of doing so. She settles for a text and delays the inevitable a bit longer.

…

Harvey and Alex spent the last few hours looking into Thomas's younger brother, Erik. He had made quite a name for himself in the Financial District and was quickly moving up the ladder at Goldman Sachs. From what they could gather he'd been seeing Evan Smith for about a year.

"She's no longer with Hackett Cropper Klein, and word on the street is they let her go shortly after the Liberty Rail mess," Alex reports to Harvey late that afternoon.

The sun is going down and Harvey still hasn't seen Donna. She had finally texted him to say she was taking care of some business outside of the office but when he asked for details, she didn't respond.

"Has Louis come up with any dirt on him? Anything we can use if it comes to that?" Harvey asks looking through the file Alex had brought him.

"Squeaky clean. Just like his big brother," Alex says, earning him a glare from Harvey. "What? I'm just sayin'. If we are looking for a back door out of this, I don't think that's the tree we should be barking up."

"Well that's great advice, Alex," Harvey says with dripping sarcasm. "You're a big fucking help."

"Listen. Harvey," Alex says, not taking offense. "If Liberty Rail is all he's got, maybe we have a shot of getting him to lay off after all."

"No way, Alex. I know where you're headed with this, and it's not happening."

"All I'm saying is, from what Mike told me, any shady shit you pulled on that deal was to save Donna from prison, right?"

Just hearing those words out loud makes Harvey visibly cringe. "Alex," he says as a warning.

"And considering the fact that Donna and Thomas were -"

"Alex!" Harvey's voice booms as he stands up and slams his palms on the desk. "I am not bringing Donna into this! There is no way in hell I am going to make her relive that nightmare. If that's the only way out of this, then they can have my fucking license. Do I make myself clear?"

Alex's eyebrows are practically at his hairline as he observes Harvey's outburst. He had suspected there was something more to Donna and Harvey than just work and friendship. And now those suspicions had definitely been confirmed.

"Okay, Harvey. Take it easy." Alex puts his hands in front of him. "I hear you, man. No Donna."

After a minute or two Harvey regains his composure. "Who is Evan working for now?" Harvey asks, still trying to slow his breathing down.

"I'm not sure, but I can find out." Alex gets up. "Time for a little visit?"

"You bet your ass it is," Harvey says, pouring himself a drink to calm his temper.

…...

Harvey steps out of the building about an hour later and checks his phone again to see if Donna has replied. He pulls his jacket tighter around his chest, and as he slides his phone back into his pocket, he walks right into Thomas.

"You're a piece of shit. You know that?" Thomas says looking down on Harvey with several inches on him, easy. The look on his face, coupled with the way he's pushing out his chest, tells Harvey he's looking for a fight.

"Thomas," Harvey says with a tilt of his head and a nod, not even slightly intimidated by the taller man's presence. "Why don't you take a deep breath and back up a step before you do something you'll regret." Harvey's words may seem like sound advice to a passerby, but Thomas knows he means them as a warning.

"Don't give me that tough guy bullshit, Harvey. You weren't even man enough to defend your own reputation. So you sent Donna over to do it for you."

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Harvey steps forward so his chest bumps Thomas's.

Thomas puts both his hands on Harvey's chest and shoves him backward. "You heard me."

Harvey grabs the lapels of his jacket and tugs on them. He wraps his left hand around his right fist and cracks his knuckles as he takes a stride toward Thomas.

Ray gets out of the Lexus and quickly walks over to the men. "Mr. Specter? Is everything okay here?"

Harvey stops. The sight of Ray, bringing him off the ledge. "We're fine Ray. Just wait in the car. This won't take long," Harvey says to his driver. Grateful for his intervention, he uses the opportunity to take a deep breath. Fighting Thomas is about the stupidest thing he could do right now. And Harvey Specter is not stupid.

"Thomas," he says in an even tone. "I haven't talked to Donna all day, and I can assure if she came to see you, it was not my doing. In fact," he shakes his head. "I'm sure now that she's been purposefully avoiding me all day."

Thomas considers Harvey's response and seems to calm down himself.

"Why did you tell Alex Simon was using me?" he asks blatantly. "You had to know you were putting yourself and your firm in jeopardy."

"I did," Harvey says with a nod.

"Then, why?" he asks again.

"It's... complicated."

"Simplify it for me, Harvey!" Thomas's voice and temper seem to be escalating again, and Harvey figures the truth may be his best bet.

"Because of Donna. She came to me, all excited about your deal. She wanted to take you out to celebrate." Harvey steps away from Thomas. Any desire he had to punch the man had dissipated. "I knew she cared about you, and I didn't want to see you get screwed."

Thomas had figured something like that to be the case. He appreciates Harvey admitting it.

"What about Liberty Rail?" Thomas continues.

Harvey freezes. He has no clue what Thomas actually knows. And with the limited information he has, he has no choice but to try to play the man. First instinct. Stall.

"What about them?" Harvey answers his question with another.

"If you want any shot at me dropping this whole thing, Harvey, I suggest you stop trying to lawyer me and just be god damn honest. You knew Liberty Rail was at fault. They were responsible for the murder of innocent people, and you let them off the hook?"

Harvey clenches his jaw as his stomach turns at the memory. Turns out Thomas knows quite a bit, apparently. He doesn't answer him. He simply nods.

"Why?" Thomas asks again.

The question hangs between like them the fog that's slowing rolling in as the temperature outside begins its steady decline. Neither man speaks for what feels like minutes.

"For Donna." Two simple words and an understanding, a connection, forms between these two men who had been seconds away from coming to blows.

Thomas nods and breaks eye contact. The moment they shared gone as quickly as it came.

"Evan told me you had done it for money. That you knew they were guilty of murder and you made a deal to let them off. I was pissed about the deal with Simon. Don't get me wrong. But it was the idea of Donna," Thomas stops and shakes his head. His voice thick with emotion. "Of Donna being with a man capable of that type of _business, _I just couldn't stomach it." Thomas shakes his head and looks back at Harvey. "But something Donna said to me today, made me wonder if Evan had left something out. So I did some digging myself. Got the impression that you had done it to protect someone. I told Erik to ask Evan point blank, what had really happened."

"And?" Harvey asks, a little weary of his answer.

Thomas looks Harvey dead in the eyes. "He said she laughed. Laughed and said _the best closer in New York City was in love with his secretary_."

Harvey looks away the second the words are out of Thomas's mouth. His stomach cramps and he balls his fists in response. He knows exactly what Thomas is getting at.

"Who is she to you?" Thomas whispers in a tone full of confusion and curiosity.

Harvey is having trouble controlling his heart rate. Of all the people in all the fucking world, the last person he expected to have this conversation with was Thomas fucking Kessler. But the answer to his question was clear. In fact, he had never been more sure of anything in his entire life. So he picks his head up and looks Thomas right in the eyes.

"She's the most important person in my life, Thomas."


	7. Chapter7

**A/N: Fair warning. This chapter is a little short. But the turn around time was quick and chapter 8 is in progress. My ride or die girls Heather, Stephanie, and Blue push me to be a better writer with every chapter and I hope it's working. **

**Please take the time to leave a review. It's important to know someone is listening. **

Chapter 7:

Thomas lets out a puff of air as if he had been holding his breath in anticipation of Harvey's response. He shakes his head absently as if he's mentally putting all the pieces together.

"Does she know?" he finally asks.

At the sound of Thomas's voice, Harvey pulls his eyes from his distant gaze into nowhere and looks back at him.

"No. She doesn't," he shakes his head. Swallowing down the regret that rises in his throat.

"Is she in love with you?" Thomas decides not to hold back. He is in this deep, and may as well get it all on the table.

Clearly caught off guard by the bold question, Harvey coughs into his hand. He slides his foot over a loose piece of gravel while contemplating the answer to Thomas's question. Is she in love with him?

"God, I hope so," Harvey says more to himself than Thomas, looking past him and out at the night sky.

His reply is not at all what Thomas expected. His honesty surprises him. Moves him.

The men stand there silently for several minutes. Harvey letting the realization of all his confessions to Thomas sink in. Thomas reflecting on his time with Donna, and all the turmoil of the past few days.

"Give me some time to process all this, Harvey. I'm not making any promises, but I do appreciate your candor tonight. It casts a new light on this entire situation."

He simply nods at Thomas. Harvey knows he is a good man. He knew it before, but he has proven it here tonight.

Thomas starts to walk away but stops and turns back to Harvey with eyes full of emotion and a huskiness in his voice.

"Donna is an incredible woman. If she is in love with you, you're a very lucky man."

As Harvey watches Thomas walk down the street, he lets his guard down enough for a single tear to escape from his eye. The weight of his love for Donna threatens to suffocate him right here on the street.

After taking a minute to pull himself together Harvey gets into the Lexus.

"Sorry for the wait, Ray," he says as he shuts the door.

"No need to apologize, Mr. Specter. Headed home, sir?" Ray asks, glancing in the rearview mirror.

Harvey looks up and meets his eyes briefly, then gazes out the window thoughtfully.

"Donna's," he responds. "Take me to Donna's."

Ray puts the car in drive as a slow smirk spreads across his face.

Harvey dials Donna's number, again, for about the tenth time today. And when he gets her voicemail yet again, it's something other than love that's boiling inside him.

……

Donna gets out of the shower not really feeling any better. She had hoped that maybe the hot water would help relieve the tension in her shoulders and the guilt in her gut. Instead, it gave her the chance to have a good hard cry, which left her with puffy eyes and a stuffy nose. With a towel around her waist and another wrapped on top of her head, she heads into her bedroom and immediately notices that her phone screen is lit. When she walks over to take a closer look, her fear is confirmed. Harvey had called. Again.

She knows he was probably pissed off, or at best, irritated with the fact that she hadn't shown her face or called him all day. She knows the longer she waits the worse it is going to get. She plans to just throw on some PJs and then call him back.

"Rap, rap, rap." Three loud, quick knocks on the door and her breath catches in her throat. How is it that she can easily tell his mood based on the way he knocks?

"Just a second. Just… one… second," she calls out as she pulls the towel from her hair and grabs her robe from the hook in the bathroom.

Great. Let's just have it out while I'm buck fuck naked, she mumbles under her breath on her way to greet her guest.

"Harvey," she says with a nod, already backing out of his way, expecting him to storm right in.

Instead, he doesn't move from the threshold. He isn't gawking, exactly, but his mouth is slightly open.

"For God's sake, what? I just got out of the shower. Are you coming in or…," she starts to shut the door on him sarcastically. She knows she's being a little bitchy but they always say offense is the best defense. Or something like that.

Harvey puts his hand up to stop the door from closing and licks his lips. He distinctly remembers being upset on his way over here but suddenly he can't remember why.

"I'm really sorry I was so unavailable today," Donna starts apologizing as they walk into the living room.

Ah. Yes. That was it, he thinks, scowling.

"You just wouldn't believe the day I've had," she adds, not really knowing where she's taking this, which is so unlike her. "Drink?" she asks, struggling to keep her voice indifferent.

How easily they fall back into this pattern. One moment, so intimate and open, the next, guarded and distant. She was just as guilty of it as he had always been.

"I could use one," Harvey speaks for the first time since arriving. "Tell me about your busy day," he says as she hands him a glass. He knows they shouldn't be playing games. He should tell her he knows she went to Thomas. He should just tell her about the conversation they'd had. He should just tell her… everything.

"Well," Donna stalls surprised by his follow up question. "I had a meeting this morning, and I wasn't feeling too well afterward." She tries to keep it vague and avoid an all-out lie. "So I came home to rest for a bit and decided to work from here."

"Morning meeting? With whom?" he inquires after sipping on his scotch.

The double meaning in his phrasing is not lost on her. And when she meets his eyes with her own, she knows he knows. His eyes bore into hers with an intensity saved for special occasions.

"Harvey--"

"You went to him? You went to him when you knew I didn't want you to. And you tried to keep it from me." His voice is thick with emotion and there's a wildness in his eyes that makes Donna look away.

"That seems to be how it works between us now. You, keeping things from me." When she simply looks up at him with no response, he's the one who breaks eye contact this time.

"That's not fair," she says shaking her head as her facade quickly fades.

"Not fair?" he spits out on a humorless chuckle. "I'll tell you what's not fair. I opened up to you last night. And in my office. I don't know about you Donna, but all that meant something to me! You think letting you in like that was easy for me?"

His tone is more hurt than angry, but either way, it's tearing Donna apart.

"I'm sorry, Harvey!" The tears are falling now, and things have come full circle. He's angry. She's crying, apologizing.

Something in her voice breaks through his exterior. He can see her pain so clearly. Feel it in his bones. And it breaks his heart.

"Why did you go to him?" his voice cracks as he steps toward her. "After last night? Why didn't you just trust me? I told you I'd handle it." There is no malice in his words. As he reaches up to place a hand on her cheek. Relief washes over her at the intimate contact.

Donna places her hand on top of his and leans her face into his palm. The comfort of his touch sends the healing warmth through her body that she had been seeking.

"I wanted to fix it," she whispers, her face mere inches from his. "I'm so sorry, Harvey. I think I only made things worse." Donna breaks down as she steps into him and wraps her arms around him. She doesn't feel like she deserves the safety of his embrace but she's afraid without it, she will fall to pieces.

Harvey doesn't respond right away. He just holds her, tightens his grip around her waist and pulls her into him. God, how he has longed to comfort her this way. All the times she has stood before him with tears on her cheeks and pain in her eyes. How he had wanted, needed, to hold her. Just the way he was holding her now.

Harvey gently strokes her hair as she cries into his chest. "He came to see me," he says, as he lays his cheek on the top of her head.

"He told me you had gone to see him," he continues as she tries to pull away to look at him, but he holds her in place. "Just... Listen for a minute." He pulls her tighter to comfort himself as much as her. "I felt stupid for not knowing you had been there. I felt betrayed, Donna. Deceived."

He eases back so he can look at her. Tears are streaming down both her cheeks and more are threatening to follow. "But you weren't betraying me. I see that now." Harvey takes his hands and places them on each side of her face. The sheer size of them engulfing her as he wipes the tears with his thumbs. "You were trying to protect me." There is a brief sparkle in Donna's eyes as she blinks rapidly, surprised by his empathy.

"It was stupid… and reckless…," he continues as a grin spreads across his face, watching the transformation on hers. Donna lets out a small gasp as she pushes against his chest in mock protest.

"I thought I could change his mind," she sighs as her hands drop down in defeat.

"How? Harvey raises his hands from his side in genuine curiosity. "You thought you could just walk in there and change his mind about me?"

"Yes! I wanted to make him see that you're a good man!" she fires back, raising her own arms in frustration. "That you don't deserve any of this. That any line you have ever crossed was crossed out of-"

"Out of?" he prods when she stops mid-sentence.

Donna sighs. She looks up into those big brown eyes and she knows he's ready. She's ready.

"Out of love." Her tone is so soft, her eyes, so warm. Harvey feels weak in the knees. He fights the urge to kiss her. To step forward and dive in with every morsel of his being, but he knows that if he opens that valve now, there will be no shutting it. Not today, not ever. And they needed to finish this first.

So as his eyes fill with emotion, he clenches his jaw and his fists alike, but he does not move or speak. He responds instead, with a quick nod.

"But it didn't work," Donna continues. "Everything I said just seemed to upset him more. And now I don't know what he's going to do." She sits down on the couch, the exhaustion of the day weighing on her. "What horrible things did he say to you, Harvey? Please tell me the two of you didn't fight."

"He wasn't horrible, Donna." Harvey sits down next to her on the couch. Their knees, touching. "He just wanted answers. Answers to some pretty tough questions."

"Liberty Rail?" she asks. "He eluded to knowing something," she adds when Harvey raises his brows.

"Yes. That. And a few other things," he says looking away from her.

"Did you tell him? I mean, did you give him what he wanted?" she asks as her voice breaks and the tears threaten again.

"Yes," he answers in a husky tone. The tone that means his walls are down. "I think he's going to drop this whole thing, Donna."

She catapults herself into his lap and he's completely caught off guard by it. She nuzzles her head into the crook of his neck and wraps her arms around him. "I'm so sorry, Harvey. Sorry I went to him. Sorry I put you in this situation. Sorry that I pushed you to tell me about Thomas's deal." Donna is spewing out apologies so fast, that through the tears and labored breathing he can hardly make them out.

"Hey, hey, hey," he says, wiping the hairs that are clinging to her skin away from her face. "This is not all on you and you really need to take it easy on yourself." He squeezes both her shoulders and looks into her hazel eyes. It's so damn clear to him now, he can't understand what had taken him so long. "You're the most important person in my life."

And there it is. His simple truth. Something he couldn't admit for nearly fourteen years, he has said aloud twice today.

Donna's eyes widen as she looks into his and the reality of his confession seeps through her veins. Harvey's eyes well up with tears as he watches the effect his words have on her and he decides he can do one better.

"I love you, Donna. I think I always have." The crack in his voice just amplifies the sincerity of his words, and Donna closes the short distance between them instantly.

The kiss is deep and slow. The taste of salty tears blends with the flavor of his mouth that she has always craved. His tongue glides around hers. Up and over as he leans down and tilts his head. He pulls her up so she is straddling him and he wraps his hand around her neck as he groans deeply at the pressure in his groin.

He wants her. There is no doubt about that. But this is so much more than that. For the first time in his life, he craves the intimacy. The touching, holding, kissing. His hands slide from her face down her arms as he is flooded with a wave of relief that washes over his whole body. All these years of holding back, of pretending, and denying. It feels so damn good to just let go. To just give in.

Donna is the one who pulls away first and Harvey wants to just pull her back in, afraid to lose the connection for even a moment. But then, she smiles and takes the breath from his lungs.

"I love you, too, Harvey. So much more than you know." Her eyes bore into his and he believes, with all his heart, that she means it. Every single word.

Donna lays her head back down on his chest and adjusts her body, bringing her right leg over with her left. She snuggles in as close as she possibly can and Harvey wraps his arms tightly around her.

She closes her eyes and listens to the steady pounding of his heart. She feels safe. Loved. Perfect.

They sit together in silence. Their minds reflecting on the past and their hearts swelling for the future. They had finally found their way to the place they both belong.

Within minutes Harvey notices Donna's breathing has slowed to a steady and consistent rhythm. She was fast asleep. He closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath. The scent of her fills his nose and overwhelms his senses.

Harvey softly kisses her on the forehead. "I love you, Donna Paulsen," he whispers. He likes the way it sounds when he says it out loud.

Harvey rests his head on top of hers as his eyes grow heavy and he slowly drifts off.


	8. Chapter8

A/N: Thank you so much for joining me on this wonderful journey. Your reviews, tweets, and retweets fueled the fire that led to this final chapter. Please make sure to give me your closing mean so much to me! Special thanks to Heather, Steph, and Blue for being there for me since day one and telling me the hard truths.

**WARNING: This chapter is rated M. Proceed with caution...**

Chapter 8:

Harvey wakes in the morning with a smile on his face that is completely out of character. He rolls over and looks at the time. 6:30 AM. He rubs a hand over his face absently as he arches his back and stretches out his legs. He feels… good.

He had woken up about 1:00 AM at Donna's and after getting her tucked into bed, he'd come home. As tempting as it was to crawl into bed beside her, he knew she was emotionally drained and hadn't trusted himself to keep his hands off of her. There would be plenty of time for that, he thought to himself, now that everything was out in the open.

He picks up his phone to see if she had texted him while he was sleeping, but he had no messages. So he texts her instead.

Good morning Beautiful. I hope you understand why I didn't stay last night. I wanted to, believe me. Maybe tonight after work, we can finally get that drink I offered before all hell broke loose?

He presses send and hops into the shower.

Less than an hour later he is in the backseat of the Lexus on his way to the firm. He feels different. Lighter somehow. Like a knot that had taken up permanent residence at the base of his neck had finally moved out. He felt so good, in fact, that the tiny seed of paranoia sprouting in his gut, due to the fact that Donna had yet to reply to him, went almost unnoticed.

"How was your night, Mr. Specter?" Ray asks casually. The fact that he had dropped Harvey off at Donna's but picked him up at home had Ray second-guessing his assumptions from last night.

"It was great, Ray. Really great," Harvey answers while smiling out the window.

Ray eases his grip on the wheel with a renewed confidence in his instincts.

Harvey walks into the firm and immediately heads to Donna's office. When he finds her lights out, he scratches at the hairs standing on the back of his neck. Something feels… off. He continues on to his own office and is surprised to find Louis sitting on his couch.

"Louis?" he asks in a tone that mirrors his confusion. "What are you -"

"Did you tell Thomas about Donna's involvement in the Liberty Rail case?" Louis interrupts with a look of clear disdain.

The color drains from Harvey's face. He has no idea where this conversation is headed, but he can tell from the look on Louis's face, it's nowhere good.

"Well, I… I mean… I -"

"Spit it the fuck out, Harvey." Louis stands up and approaches him. "It's a simple question. Yes? Or no?"

A wave of nausea rolls through Harvey's stomach. He flashes back to his conversation with Thomas and what exactly he had said. There's no way Thomas would… But he hasn't heard from Donna since he left last night and…

"Harvey!" Louis shouts and brings him back to the nightmare unfolding in front of him.

"Yes," he stammers, "Yes, I did."

Harvey reaches for his desk to balance the dizziness as the shouting continues. His chest tightens around his lungs like a vice and he can't seem to take in a breath. He hears bits and pieces of what Louis is saying but he can't make out the words. Harvey's vision begins to blur as he feels Louis grab his shoulders with both hands. What is that he keeps saying? Harvey tries to focus, but he can't breathe…

"...arrested!" He finally makes out.

"Harvey! Did you hear me? Donna's been ARRESTED!"

Harvey gaps for air as he wakes up with a jolt and nearly knocks Donna off the couch. He clutches at his heaving chest as sweat pours from his forehead.

It takes Donna just a couple of seconds to gain her bearings and figure out what the hell is going on.

"Harvey! Harvey? Can you hear me?" she asks doing her best to stay calm but his bulging eyes and short choppy breaths are scaring her to death. "Harvey, breathe. Just... breathe." Donna reaches for his face. "It was just a dream. I'm here. You're in my apartment, Harvey. That's it," she says as his eyes meet hers and she thinks she is getting through. "I'm going to get you some water, okay? Breathe for me. Deep and slow."

Donna jumps up and runs into the kitchen. She knew about his bout with panic attacks, but knowing and seeing were two very different things. She runs back to him with the water and although his breathing is still labored, she can tell he's coming down from it.

"Drink." She pushes the glass toward him and he gladly accepts.

Harvey brings the water to his mouth and shakily gulps at it as half of it pours down the front of him. Donna takes the glass and sets it down as she kneels between his legs and takes both his hands into hers.

"Look at me," she says calmly. Gazing into his eyes. "Look at me, Harvey," she says again, squeezing his hands lightly. The wildness in his eyes starts to subside as his breathing becomes deeper and less frantic. "You're okay. I'm right here." Donna takes his right hand up to her mouth and kisses it gently. "You're okay," she repeats, but this time she seems to be calming herself with the words, not him.

"Bad dream," he finally croaks out. His eyes well up with emotion as hers soften with a small frown.

She nods, "That's what I figured." She sits up higher on her knees and places a light kiss on his cheek. "But it's over now and it was just a dream, Harvey." She lays her head on his chest and listens to his heart pound. They sit like this quietly while Harvey regains his composure.

"I'd like to stay," he says hoarsely. "If that's okay with you?"

Donna's breath catches in her throat as her body immediately reacts to his request. Before she has a chance to pick her head up or respond he clarifies his meaning.

"Just to sleep, Donna. I'm not suggesting..." he stops mid-sentence. "I'd just rather not leave you alone tonight," he continues a bit awkwardly.

It strikes her as ironic, that his initial request made her feel a bit panicky, but his clarification left her feeling slightly disappointed.

She picks her head up and smiles anyway. "Of course, Harvey. After that," she waves her hand in front of him, "I think you're the one who shouldn't be left alone."

Donna gets up from the floor in front of him and goes to refill his glass. While she's in the kitchen he lays a blanket out on the couch and takes off his shoes. Donna grins at him as she walks back in.

"You finally tell me you love me after fourteen years and you think you're sleeping on the couch?" She chuckles. "Bedroom, Mister! And don't worry, I promise not to take advantage of you while you're weak."

"I thought I was the one not taking advantage," Harvey responds, smiling into his water and following her into the bedroom.

Donna uses the bathroom first and comes out in a silk set of pajama pants and a matching tank. Harvey's eyes immediately drop to the very visible outline of her nipples and the response in his groin is instantaneous.

He clears his throat to give himself an excuse to wipe the drool from his mouth. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea." His tone is an octave or two lower than usual.

Amused by his sudden shyness, Donna teases him, "Don't tell me the idea of sleeping next to a beautiful woman makes the great Harvey Specter nervous?" Her smile is seductive as her intentions suddenly shift.

"Careful, Donna." His eyes go dark as he looks into hers. His gaze moves slowly up and down her body with painstaking intensity. "You have no idea how many times I've thought of this exact scenario."

Donna's stomach flutters at the hunger in his eyes and the need in his voice, and she knows this is happening. Tonight.

She glides the few feet between them until her breasts nearly touch his chest. "And you don't think I've fantasized about you, Specter?" She runs a hand up the front of her body, just barely grazing the back of her knuckles over the bulge forming in his pants. He inhales sharply as she leans to his ear and whispers, "I've lost track how many times."

Harvey grabs her waist and pulls her against him as he takes her mouth with his. The taste of her floods his system with memories that he had never really forgotten. He continues kissing her with a sense of urgency as his hands roam from her waist, up her back, to her neck, her hair, back down to her butt as he squeezes her and pulls her tighter against his throbbing erection.

"Donna." He moans into her neck and his mouth travels from her jawline to her shoulders. "I don't think I can stop." His words are muffled against her skin and his breath is hot on her neck.

"God, I hope not," she whispers as she walks backward toward the bed, pulling him along with her.

When her calves hit the bed she moves her hands from his head to the front of his shirt as she frantically works on opening it, all the while cursing the designer who made the buttons so damn difficult.

Harvey runs his hands up and down her back as his tongue slides over her lips and into her mouth. He reaches for the bottom of her tank top and pulls it gracefully over her head, forcing her to delay getting his shirt off. He drops it to the floor and grabs both her wrists before she can continue undressing him. He leans back slightly and pulls her wrists out and away from her body as he lowers his eyes to her breasts.

"My God, Donna. You are so beautiful." He lets go of her wrists and slides an arm around her waist and one behind her knee, lifting her up off the ground and gently laying her onto the bed as he climbs over her. She tries again to reach for his shirt but he catches her wrists and pins them both above her head on the mattress as he brings his mouth to her chest. Harvey is overcome with the desire that he has worked so hard to keep at bay.

Donna moans as she arches her back to bring her body as close to him as possible. Harvey manages to free his right hand by gripping both her wrists tightly with his left. He cups her breast, lightly at first, as he teases her nipple with the tip of his tongue. Slowly increasing the pressure as he takes her breast into his mouth and elicits a loud moan as she pushes her body up and into him again.

"Harvey, please," she begs and it nearly drives him over the edge. "I need to touch you."

He releases his grip and she grabs his shirt, yanking it open, and popping the few remaining buttons right off. Her hands immediately reach for his chest. His pecs are hard and glistening with sweat which only turns her on more. He begins to apply pressure between her legs by lowering himself onto her and slowly thrusting his body upward.

Harvey starts to work his way down her body, placing passionate kisses on Donna's collar bone, her breasts, her stomach. The feeling of his lips and tongue cause her entire body to shiver. He slowly hooks his finger into the elastic band of her pants and slips them off of her. He continues to slide down, placing kisses on her thighs until he stands at the end of the bed and removes his own pants, his eyes never leaving her body. Her eyes fixed on watching him undress.

As he lowers his pants and stands in front of her she gasps as memories of the other time flood her senses. He looks different now. Older, stronger, sexier.

"Harvey," she begs again, her body aching, her core throbbing.

Harvey kneels on the edge of the bed and runs his hands from Donna's ankles, up her calves to her knees. He gently applies outward pressure and she complies, willingly spreading her legs apart. A humming sound comes from Harvey's throat as he brings her legs up into a bent position and lowers his mouth between them.

The first thing Donna feels is the tip of his tongue. Gently licking her as he spreads her outer lips apart. The sensation of pleasure starts at her core but spreads like wildfire to all her extremities. She arches her back and lifts her hips off the mattress as she calls out his name once again. Feeding off her energy he probes his tongue deeper and then slides two fingers inside while mercilessly teasing her clit with this mouth. It doesn't take long for her walls to tighten around his fingers as her body bucks and spasms as he watches.

The moment she catches her breath, she reaches for him and pulls his mouth to hers. The taste of her on his tongue drives her need for him deeper, despite the release he had just provided her.

She pulls him upward so that he is straddling her and his cock is just above her breasts and inches from her face. She lifts her neck to take the tip of him into her mouth as she uses one hand to stroke him and the other to apply pressure just below the base. Harvey places his hands on the wall above the bed and eases himself deeper into her mouth.

"Fuck, Donna… You're going to make me come." He sits back with a few labored breaths. Donna begins slowly caressing her chest while Harvey is watching from above. She pushes both breasts together, wrapping them around his hard erection. With his hands still on the wall, he begins to slide back and forth using the lubrication left from Donna's mouth. The sounds coming from her coupled with the erotic look on her face brings him dangerously close to the edge.

He slides his body down so it hovers just above hers. He kisses her, softly at first, like he wants to make this moment last. Then he takes the kiss deeper, and deeper until she feels him, hard and ready, between her legs. She gasps at the intimate contact as the need to feel him inside her grows unbearable.

"Donna," he groans.

She closes her eyes, lifts her chin back, and arches her back at the pure ecstasy of hearing him moan her name.

"Donna?" Harvey says again as he slides along her center and this time she hears it as more of a request. A plea.

Her eyes flutter open and she sees him only an inch or two above her. The look in his eyes is so raw. She feels like for the first time she can see right into his heart. Like a window to everything he has ever felt for her but never been able to say.

"I love you," he whispers. And before she can respond, he glides into her and fills her in every sense of the word.

…

Harvey wakes with a beam of sunlight shining right in his face. It takes him a few moments to get his bearings and realize where he is. He rubs his face with both hands and rolls over, expecting to find a beautiful redhead lying next to him. Instead he only finds some pillows.

He swings his legs over the side of the bed and looks around the floor for his underwear. The first thing that catches his eye are a few loose buttons on the carpet, which causes him to break out into his signature grin.

"Donna?" he calls, getting up and taking a closer look around for his clothes. It's not like she didn't get a good look at him last night. In fact, just that thought causes the rest of his body to wake up. Maybe he should hold off on finding his underwear.

"Good morning - Oh! Harvey, my goodness!" Donna giggles as she walks in with a coffee mug in each hand.

"Are you closing your eyes?" Harvey laughs as he walks up and takes a mug, kissing her lightly.

"No. Well, maybe." She opens one eye and takes a quick peek at the man she's been pining after for over a decade. "This is going to take a little getting used to, I think." Donna smiles and walks back down the hallway, calling over her shoulder, "Your pants are on the chair, Harvey."

They enjoy a cup of coffee, a little hand-holding, and even a few soft kisses before either one of

them lets reality creep back in.

"I guess I should go by my apartment and grab a shower. And a shirt that still has buttons," Harvey says smirking over his coffee cup. "You could come with me?"

"Harvey, as sweet as that is, I think I'll be just fine on my own. I've been going to work all by myself for years now."

A sick feeling surfaces in Harvey's stomach at Donna's comment and he doesn't bother to mask it.

"What is it?" She reaches for his hand.

Harvey swallows the lump in his throat while he contemplates his answer.

"The dream," he says looking away from her.

"Oh," Donna nods. "You never told me what it was about?" She phrases it as a question.

"I'd rather not relive it. I'm sure it's fine. Just let me have Ray take you in, and I'll catch a cab."

…

It's around 9:00 when Harvey makes his way into the firm. Just as he had arrived at the building, he got a text from Louis saying he needed to see him in his office right away. He pushed the fear and anxiety down, convincing himself it was foolish. But he still didn't like the idea of his day starting with Louis.

As he steps off the elevator and heads to Louis's office, he notices that everyone is already there. Robert, Samantha, Alex, Louis, and Donna. The nausea that was resurfacing, subsides when he notices everyone is smiling.

"Looks like I'm late." He tries to appear casual.

"You are, Harvey," Robert spouts. "It's 9:00 fucking AM."

"Robert. Please." Louis interrupts. "Harvey," he turns toward him. "I have some good news. Thomas dropped the suit. He called me this morning." Louis slaps Harvey on the shoulder. "Dodged another bullet Spiderman."

"It's Bat-nevermind." Harvey lets out a big sigh. "Did he say why?" he asks trying to not sound too curious.

"Something about new information coming to light. He actually said that he had misjudged you," Louis added with a hint of surprise. "But when I suggested he tell you that himself, he insisted I pass it along."

Harvey's gaze immediately shifts to Donna. They exchange a long look while Donna's eyes fill with emotion and Harvey's heart aches for her. He knows she loves him, but she cared about Thomas, too.

"Excuse me," Donna says as she quickly walks out.

Alex, Louis, and Robert missed the entire exchange as they were already knee-deep in a new issue. But Samantha had watched it unfold.

"What the hell was that about?" She catches up to Harvey on the way down the hall.

"What was what about?" His tone, disinterested.

"That moment between you and Donna back there. You could cut through it with a knife!"

"Samatha, I don't know -"

"Harvey, let's rewind, shall we? The other night, I witnessed you and Donna eye-fucking each other by the elevators, then "Ding" cue her boyfriend. She leaves with him. You look like your dog died and can't put two words together. The next day, all hell breaks loose as you and Alex are tripping over yourselves trying to save said boyfriend's shady deal. Next day he's filing for an Ethics Hearing against you and Donna is MIA. Today, ex-boyfriend, taking a wild guess there, drops the case, and you and Donna are back to goo goo eyes, and she runs out crying." She puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head. "That about cover it?"

"Yep," he answers. leaving her gawking behind him while he goes to find Donna.

He walks straight into the Ladies room, and finds Donna trying to freshen up. Her eye makeup has had better days.

"You okay?" Harvey asks softly. "I'm so sorry about this whole thing. I know you care about him and -"

"Is that why you think I'm upset? Because of Thomas?" Donna interrupts. She falls more in love with him every moment.

"Harvey, those tears weren't for Thomas. They were for you! I'm just so relieved that everything worked out." Donna steps toward him and takes his hand. "We got a little… distracted at my apartment, but the minute I got to work today, all the fear came flooding back. There was still a part of me that was terrified I had cost you everything." Her eyes begin to fill again.

"Donna. Hey." He reaches up gently and wipes a stray tear away. "How could you possibly cost me everything, when you are my everything?" He pulls her in for a hug and kisses her on the top of her head.

She squeezes him tightly. "How will I ever get used to you saying things like that to me."

"Who knew I had such a way with words?" Harvey chuckles. "Oh. By the way, Samantha knows." He grins in the mirror at her horrified expression.

…

Donna and Harvey were packing up for the night. They had agreed to finally go out for that drink. As great as things feel between them right now, they know they still have a lot of talking to do. You don't make up for fourteen years of denial and bad decisions in one night.

"Hey, I'll catch up with you in a minute, okay?" Harvey says to Donna as they are walking out of his office. "There's something I need to do real quick."

"Sure." Donna smiles.

Once she's out of sight, Harvey picks up his phone and makes the call.

"Mike? It's Harvey."

"Hey Harv- what's up?" Mike is surprised to hear from him, but he's even more curious at his happy tone.

"I just called to say… Donna IS." Harvey stands in front of his panoramic city view.

"Donna is what, Harvey?"

"The ONE, Mike." Harvey shakes his head and smiles from ear to ear as he feels his chest swell. "Donna is the one."

"No shit, Harvey." Mike laughs. "But I sure am glad to finally hear you say it."

THE END

**Stay Tuned for my first AU: "The Closer" - coming soon!**


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